EFFIN GRANNIE

EFFIN GRANNIE

AYE AYE

Looks like we have arrived!! Jay you are indeed a treasure. A few wee points or order for starters. Most on the BBC IB form were well aware that I lied to get onto the sight, well, lets just call it sneaking under the wire. Suffice to say the powers that bee didnt recognise that ‘Auchenshuggle aff the shoulder’ was infact no where near the Western Isles and was indeed in deepest East End of Glasgow. I am hoping that tales of Lofty Peak, the Park Bar, the no 64 bus and tales from the Neighbours from the Dark Side will be enough to keep you all entertained and allow me to stay. To be honest I’d much rather be on and Island off the Scottish mainland any day of the week, but until the lotto ticket comes up I’ll just have to live my dream through all of your writings. Last word for this post..I’m dyslexic, so apologies in advance for the appauling spelling.

PS this is my sixth attempt at getting an account, which lets be honest for me aint bad

Share and Enjoy:

10 Comments »

 

10 Responses to “Aye, aye!!!”

thewhitesettleron 10 Dec 2008 at 7:50 pm 1

I can’t believe my eyes, you lied to get onto IB ( BBC version) It’s just like being told that Santa disnae exist, we of course know he does exist. I’m not dyslocated, I’m just rubbish at spelling. When I was at school, I never saw the point in learning English, I’m not English, I’m Scottish. Nice to read you Granny….

mjcon 10 Dec 2008 at 8:33 pm 2

You are some character, Granny E. Glad you are here. After all, one more loonie won’t be noticed. Is Lofty Peak a pub? like the wonderful Three Tuns that used to grace Durham, England? As to being dyslexic, GrannyE, you are obviously not the only one. A Glaswegian, eh? Born and raised?

Barneyon 10 Dec 2008 at 8:51 pm 3

Honesty is the best policy, EG! This site is really beginning to hum.

grannyeon 11 Dec 2008 at 10:46 am 4

Aww bless ye ma weans, such loverly use oh words and bonnie bonnie spellin!(Well I presume, obviously wouldnt really feel qualified to comment on the spelling:)
TWS, I feel your pain re the wee fib, but you have to understand, the Dell Fank Extraviganza was just too attractive a proposition, have you seen the talent in Auchenshuggle, remind me to tell you the tale of ‘Bus stop Boy’ one day.
mjc, Lofty Peak is a well known Scottish brand of flour, and the millers used to publish a fine recipie book annually, they are regularly on sale at the Dell Fank boot sale, next to the Doc martins that hurt ma feet.Serves me right for purchasing them in Glasgow and not Campbeltown.
Barney, my therapist suggest ylang ylang in a burner for the hum

lokivolemangleron 11 Dec 2008 at 5:11 pm 5

Is Barney trying to say that this site is mingin’? I feel quite indigent. I hope you’re going to blog more often now we’re all in this clean, clinical environment GrannyE. It would be affa affa fine if you could get your titles reinstated…

mjcon 11 Dec 2008 at 9:55 pm 6

Granny’s titles – right, FC, you do have a long memory. What were they Granny E? and what might they stand for?

lokivolemangleron 13 Dec 2008 at 10:02 am 7

She’ll never tell you mjc and I can’t remember after all this time!

lokivolemangleron 13 Dec 2008 at 10:04 am 8

Oh Granny dearest purrlease purrlease share your secret with a flummoxed feline. How do you allow comments to appear without moderation???  

grannyeon 13 Dec 2008 at 11:13 am 9

Bloody good question lokivole, I have no idea how I managed this feat, or maybe I just cant remember!! Orr, maybe I have been footering with settings in the night, orr, it will have been Hamish, that’ll be it, its always Hamish in this hoose!If anybody can answer this quandry i think a new title may be required…offers on a postcard.

10. 

plaidon 15 Dec 2008 at 6:54 am 10

Dyslexic? [golly gosh, I had to check back to the first posting for the spelling of that word].
Lies? Golly gosh! I think that no mean feet, though perhaps it was cos the boots were purchased at the Dell Fank boot sale … wonder if Doc Marten was nearby just to hand out prescriptions?
This site is definitely looking up … am looking forward to tales about/from Lofty Peak. Am I correct in surmising that is is sometimes misty? From all dat flour wafting in the breeze of course.

 

 

INTERNATIONAL BOYFRIEND TEST

This one is quite a quandary, and has been shared with many friends when on their journey through the byre of singletoness. Basically, if you retell this tale and dont get the appropriate reaction ‘his/her tea is oot’ move along its over! So, my advice is to get this story in at an early stage and save yourself heartache later. In my family we also have another further test where we drive prospective candidates to Westport beach in Kintyre, and if they aint speechless followed by some heady exclamation about the site before them, again, they’re dumped!! I’m sure you all have similar places in your lives. So, this is the way the story goes.

A young family gather in the large middle class kitchen of their hoose in the Central Belt, the three children 11, 10, and 5, and mother stare in silent awe as two burrlie men wrestle a large packaged box into the room. Shortly after the men leave the room reverently, having worshiped at the alter of plumbing under the sink.

The family move closer to the new white alter of clean, the mother gently caresses the dials on the front and then opens the door with a flourish….the children gasp in collective wonder. Shortly later the new dishwasher is loaded and ready to rock, thus the grand switching on ceremony is complete when the dial is twiddled and the button pushed. The family step backs, arms folded and a collective sigh reverberates round the room.

Some time later, when the cycle is almost complete.

(Enter ass monkey faither, stage right, ie the hall)

“Whits this?” He enquires..hmm this should really have been a warning come to think of it.

“SSHHH” the youngest child replies, “we’re waiting for the dishwasher to finish.”

Faither looks at the floor expecting some sort of flooding incident!! Shuffles his feet to the irritation of all concerned. Then pipes up with his pearl of wisdom.

“Man, i’nt it amazin how is disnae brek the dishes when it spins.”

Now, I know what you are all thinking, he was joking of course. ‘Fraid not, he was absolutely serious, in fact my poor children’s upbringings were peppered with such intellectual wonders, how they survived to be nearly normal is beyond me.

So the test in principal usually runs like this, new partner is brought along to mithers to be introduced, I am then asked to tell them the story. If they laugh their socks off, or even look at us as if ‘you cant be seriouse’ then they are a keeper. IF however they reply saying “Aye, that’s what ahve always wondered’, then they are shown the door!!!

As a matter of interest a friend of mine Prof, uses it with prospective boyfriends with greatsuccess. People are welcome to use this test for the Dell Fank Extravaganza

Share and Enjoy:

6 Comments »

 

6 Responses to “THE INTERNATIONAL BOYFRIEND TEST”

mjcon 12 Dec 2008 at 9:44 pm 1

I always wondered why the best and the brightest Glaswegians move to …. (fill in the blank, but please, not Edinburgh). Now I know. # Are you still speaking to me, Granny E?

grannyeon 12 Dec 2008 at 11:04 pm 2

And to be sure mjc why wouldnt i be speakin to you?!? Ive been in bed wi ma chist for a few days and have only jist revived from the bumper bonanza of antibiotics and whiskey poultices. As for where do ‘the best and brightest Glaswegians move to’, hmm, well seein as the washoose had to suffer the indignity of yet another temporary winter closure (to cover the cooncil leader Steven Purcells buscuit deficit crisis) I have no idea where they will shelter from the wond, rain, sleet, snow and ofcourse not forgetting the black ice of last week, as the only pavements that were gritted were ootside you know who’s hoose!! I suspect its time we brought Tommy Sheridon oota retirement, at least he always had the kettle ready for passin intellectuals. Sorry, I’m off on a tangent again, where do they go? Well so far I’ve tried CumbernauldX4, GrimsbyX1, BlackpoolX1 oh and yes, there was Edinburgh the wilderness years. But then I’m odd, not only am I a non-catholic Celtic supporter(please note I’m not sayin proddy), I am also a weegie who spent part of my formative teenage years in the 70’s in Edinburgh and have great affection for the place, ah happy daze. Maybe the question should be ‘ where SHOULD the brightest and best weegies go? Im suggestin in the absence of an island off Scotland the Kintyre or Knoydart penninsula, however, I shall email proff with this question, he who used to teach at Cali uni, is a member of MENSA but chooses to work at the local bakery factory, he’s bound to know.
cough cough, gluggs cavonia

lokivolemangleron 13 Dec 2008 at 10:09 am 3

Kintyre’s as good as an island and Carradale was once Shangri-La. It’s a brave wumman who will give Cumbernauld 4Xtries!

Barneyon 13 Dec 2008 at 10:38 am 4

Surely the best test for a prospective partner is how he good he is with his hands? Not with machines, like.

lokivolemangleron 13 Dec 2008 at 4:00 pm 5

I think his cognitive skills come into it too Barney  . The hands that do the dishes here in Anorak Towers are happy to be immersed in colourless Ecover…but would probably be thrilled to find a dishwasher in residence!

mjcon 16 Dec 2008 at 4:09 pm 6

The fact that s/he is a prospective partner is itself an indication of brains, or lack thereof. As to manual dexterity, I beg a leave of absence from discussions of the matter, being naturally faint of heart.

 

 

 

BACK AGAIN

Sorry about the blogging hiatus, but I’ve been in bed with my chist!!! As is the tradition in this household the preamble to the festivities usually involves me being indisposed for the purposes of preparation. This may be the reason why ‘I HATE CHRISTMAS’. The weans fortunately are cookin dinner this year, so that’s one job I don’t have to worry about. The wee weans prezzies are now finally in, just need to get on with knitting the dolls underwear.  I have decided that next year will be different, and for once in my life I will be organised. And it would appear that home made will be the way ahead, so knitting needles at the ready I think.

So, to the local news. Well, we have had our traditional pre-Christmas Police raid next door!! He, of course ‘wisnae in’ or ‘wisnae openin the door’, you take your pick on which of those statements is true. Didnt stop the constable chappin ma door to make sure they were at the right door, eh??? Well as I have my name on my door I’d have thought that was a bit of a dead giveaway, but what would I know. No doubt they will be back in the next few days, well, the middle of the night usually, to break the door down and have a rare old time waking everyone in the vicinity, only to discover they are too late, he has been tipped off and done a runner. But at least the boys in blue will be in the close, out of the wind and rain, and the neighbour will be making himself scarce for a week or two, hopefully giving us a peaceful Christmas.

I was asked about my titles. How great are the memories. It was of course in the Island Honours List December 2005 that I was mentioned in dispatches, aye it was a proud day when Calumannabel, (him being the only one that gets a copy of The Times) announced that I had been named ‘Dame Ellie of Auchenshuggle, for charitable works and service washes in the Auchenshuggle Wash hoose’. And so I became GrannyE DBE.RM. the RM of course denoting registered madwife, which is my professional capacity. Ahh, happy daze, and this explains why I now swab doon the veranda with a purple hat with big ploomy feather in it. I wonder what delights will await us in this years Honours list?? Makes ya think, dinnit?

If I don’t get a chance to blog again before the hostilities begin seasons greetings, and just remember it will soon be January.

Cheerie

Share and Enjoy:

9 Comments »

 

9 Responses to “Back again!!!”

stromness dragonon 21 Dec 2008 at 9:30 pm 1

Oooh, Granny, you are an example to us all! A fine upstanding, law-abiding member of the community AND a knitter. I knitted all my presents this year. If they didn’t get a tea cosy, they got pickled beetroot. Rock and furthermore, roll!

Flying Cat 2on 22 Dec 2008 at 12:32 am 2

After all these years I finally get to know what grannye’s title is and with the added bonus of a nostalgic grainy b&w pic of corpy buses. I’m a bit puzzled by the purple hat though…shouldn’t it be red? With a purple dress? And a veranda! How very colonial! How do you knit pickled beetroot???

soapladyon 22 Dec 2008 at 11:01 am 3

well, being a trained nurse, I’m sure you don;t need another one telling you how to look after yer chist …!!

goodness heavens, it sounds wild there (in E Glasgow I mean), is it just a little like life as portrayed on Rab C Nesbitt …?! I always loved that program … Could nivva understand many of the words that were said, but I just let it flow over me …

mjcon 22 Dec 2008 at 12:16 pm 4

Now you are a funny one, Granny E.! You turned your neighbor in, and then you act all surprised. Did you in fact have twinges of conscience, and let a hint drop in your holiday conversation with said neighbor, which brought about his sudden trip to the warmer shores of Spain? Hope you gave the boys in blue grog to warm their gullets up, and to direct their suspicion elsewhere. # Oh aye, the titles. Are you sure it was for actual services rendered, and not for loans or grants in pound sterlings to the Party in power that led to Buckingham Palace granting you those honorifics? If you were willing to make some contribution to my retirement fund, Granny E, I would put the currency, nicely bundled and plastic wrapped, in my freezer – and I would be willing to print you a certificate granting you the Order of …. (you choose, Granny E).

stromnessdragonon 22 Dec 2008 at 3:01 pm 5

FC2 – purple wool. Obv.

grannyeon 22 Dec 2008 at 7:28 pm 6

Stromness, excellent work on the gifts, you are a fine example to the high female echelons. Any chance oh the pattern for knitted beetroot please. Glad you liked the buses FC2 As for red robes……well, we all know where they wear that sort of getup.
Soaplady, being a madwife I just slap a placenta and soap poltice on and smoke milder fags. As for Rab C, remind me to tell you about my ex-paw-in-law one day.(By the way, great website.)
TWS – the tip off wont come from me, be assured he has more spies than MI5 could hope to provide, he is more likely to be found in Costa del Cranhill than Sol. Trust me you dont get involved in drug dealers business, but a quiet Crimbo would be nice. As for the Honours, well, like I said a word in the shell like o Callumannabel and hope he has kept up his newspaper order at the shoppie while being indisposed in the jungle.

mjcon 22 Dec 2008 at 8:18 pm 7

The color purple has wonderful connotations re: royalty, the Vatican and such (even some nooks and crannies of Canterbury, if truth be told). Granny E. knows whereof she speaks.

Flying Cat 2on 22 Dec 2008 at 10:21 pm 8

I’ve come over all tempted to knit a beetroot now I know how…but after this little foray into needles&wool:-
http://www.bbc.co.uk/scotland/islandblogging/blogs/005209/0000008551.shtml#comments
I have tried to stay off the knitting. In the interests of sanity.
What, purple thongs in the nooks and crannies of Canterbury??? Rowan jelly…gulp.

thewhitesettleron 23 Dec 2008 at 11:31 am 9

Knitted Knickers? Will that no’ gie the wearer, of knitted knickers a wee bit chaffin’ roond the Gentiles? I know it would me. Have a Good Festive Time Granny.. Cheery…

 

WELL THAT WENT WELL

Cant believe it, middle daughter cooked and entertained us all in fine style, ably assisted by her able assistant, the son in law.  To be honest it was the first decent Christmas I’ve had in years. Wee wean had a ball, and at one point was opening ‘everybodies’ prezzies in her excitement. Then she turned the ‘cutiemeter’ up to max and went round the table wishing her assembled audience individual ‘Merry chistmas’. Big boy even ate potatoes, which in itself is a minor miracle. And my own youngest, the big wean, had a great time with the wee weans new doll, dressing it up in all the new outfits Santa’s cleverly got from eBay!! What more could an eighteen year old wish for. And maw now has more books to add to her able collection, me I got more books and book tokens….yipeeee.

The close was unbelievably quiet, only myself and the wummin doonstairs in residence. I presume the older neighbours were away visiting rellies and doonstairs, well must have been at the burds. Next Door, well they sneaked in very very quietly last night!! So who knows where they have been. I’m thinkin they werent acting as Santas elves for the duration.  No sign of the rozzers, yet, but there is ample enough time before the new year. Its freezin here, thankfully I put the car in the garage last night so didn’t need to scrape it on the trip for maws papers.

The big excitement tonight is the weans first visit to the pantomime. I’m not going, but will be playing taxi, she even has a Cinders dress which is rags on one side, then during the interval you turn it inside oot and voila, its Cinderellas ball gown. Just hope she stays awake long enough to see th entire show. Think Id best put the blankie and a hot water bottle in the bag for the journey home.

So hows your Christmas been?

Share and Enjoy:

13 Comments »

 

13 Responses to “WELL, THAT WENT WELL!!”

Flying Cat 2on 27 Dec 2008 at 7:03 pm 1

Effin brilliant Effin Grannie thank you for asking. Our pal Jeelie Piece pulled out all the stops (and stoppers) and eight sat to a groaning board and talked the hind legs affa herd of donkeys. Glad you had a good one too! (Me and Marmers were left at Anorak Towers gazing sadly at an unlit tree and two bowls of Whiskas Humans! Huh!)

mjcon 28 Dec 2008 at 1:16 am 2

Why on earth did you not go to the Panto, Grannie E? All those wars to prevent the Panto from being obliterated, germanized or gallicized, and you don’t go do you patriotic duty? # What are book tokens? Gift cards good for a certain amount to purchase books? What are you reading, Granny E.? Not an improving book, surely?! # Glad you had a fun time over Christmas. May your New Year be a humdinger.

Barneyon 28 Dec 2008 at 12:33 pm 3

That’s a clever Cinderella dress. So far little word about the princess dress sent to oldest (but not very old) grandchild. Quiet time here with only Mother-in-law in attendance on CD, te´hen Boxing Day we packed Saga off to Austria for a youth camp over the NY. So I can incubate my cold-in-dte-dose in peace.

Flying Cat 2on 28 Dec 2008 at 4:48 pm 4

Surely you have man-flu???

mjcon 28 Dec 2008 at 7:34 pm 5

incubate my cold-in-dte-dose in peace -Blarney # I knew I would not be able to take my afternoon nap (eh?) until I figured out that comment. Cold in the nose (standard English)? Cold in de nose (island scot ??). Steady squirts of a saline solution should clear it all out. (you don’t want to overdo it though: might flush out whatever grey cells you have left, old boy). # Celebrating New Year in Glasgow must be something, Granny E. I am not sure why, but I do like Glasgow. Perhaps it was that experience with being woken up at 2 in the morning by a guy with a funny (soccer club?) scarf, belting it out (sounded like the vocab. and sounds of Papua New Guinea, but he looked like your ordinary Scot – hello Braveheart ?! – sans tartaned kilt) under my sixth floor window of the Millenium Hotel in otherwise deserted George Square. Maybe he was a Glaswegian McGonagall? ’twas not the Bard of Armagh (did not sound at all like the Christian Brothers of my traumatized childhood).

Barneyon 29 Dec 2008 at 11:48 am 6

Man-flu I may or may not have, depending upon what man-flu is.
Mjc, watch it fellah, not wise to spike the captain before even setting foot on board … OLD boy …. still no sign of life from the geologist.

Flying Cat 2on 29 Dec 2008 at 2:57 pm 7

You could bombard him with comments here:-http://mullgeology.wordpress.com/
but he has got a young family and it is the festive hiatus so it wouldn’t be very fair!
I wish he would come in and join us though. Its not the same sans MM.

mjcon 29 Dec 2008 at 5:43 pm 8

and sans Calum. for that matter. Maybe he had a surfeit of Stornoway original sausage and Sulas Geir guga: he is not known for his abstinence (or are you, Calum.?) Personally I have had a decade’s fill of roast turkey and baked ham. I can’t take it any more. If the choice were presented to me between more ham & turkey and air dried snook salsa I would take the latter option.

Barneyon 30 Dec 2008 at 9:33 am 9

EFfCee says it all. patience and hope is the MM medicine.

10. 

Hyper-Boreanon 30 Dec 2008 at 7:45 pm 10

Code id de nose mjc. An affliction which renders one unable to say, “Plub jab.” As for snook ( Snoek?) it entered the psyche of Dad’s Army’s generation, surpassing even Spam as an item of ridicule until Python appeared.

11. 

Harryd(Canada)on 31 Dec 2008 at 1:37 am 11

My Christmas was good . Much like yours Grannie, We let the Daughter and Her Partner do the Breakfast and Dinner at their place and we just relaxed and listen to all the Grandkids talk
adout what they are up to. The youngest just turned 21 so
they have a completely different view on things than me but I try and haud my wheesh to keep the peace. I got a picture frame for digital pictures. It seems a wee bit tricky and to be honest how many times am I going to have a continuous picture
show, especialy if the fitba is on tv. They mean well, I don’t need anything at my age. I enjoy reading your escapades with your neighbours comings and goings I hope you are not in any danger. I have only been to a Panto a couple of times many years ago, but I enjoyed them, they were a good laugh.
It’s great to see the wonder on the wee yins faces when they open the prezzies, it takes 2 minutes to wrap them and the kids 2 seconds to open. Happy New Year to all.

12. 

mjcon 31 Dec 2008 at 10:22 pm 12

Hello Hyper-B.: yes, snook is also spelled snoek, quite different from schnook. I ate dried snoek cooked in tomato and onions with lots of hot peppers from time to time while growing up in one of Her Majesty’s colonies: take my word for it, salted cod is much better. If you have never had it, don’t pine for it Hyper-B.

13. 

Flying Cat 2on 02 Jan 2009 at 12:33 pm 13

It must be pretty dreadful if salt cod is better!!!

 

 

 

 

TAMTASTIC!!

I swore I wasn’t going to watch Celebrity Big Brother, Then…as I flicked through channels, during a brief interlude on the ‘Naked Vicar’ on BBC2, I caught a sideways glimpse of Tommy Sheridon, or, Tamtastic the peoples bam! Be still my beating heart!!(Makes mental note to keep the GTN handy for the next three weeks) Over last night I saw Terry Christian trying to explain to La Toya, in terms she could understand, who the hell these people were. I also saw Tamtastic try to identify which of her brothers hits he had admired, only to find out LaToya wisnae quite getting the weegie accent, as she turned to Terry and said that when Tamtastic was talkin aboot Michael she had thought he said Mavis. Aww hen, I’ll try and get ma special copy oh parliama Glesga fur ye, then maybe you and Tamtastic can indeed heal the world. Don’t know about you peeps, but I feel this may be a thread that runs, so might give it its own page, let me know you opinion.

Share and Enjoy:

39 Comments »

 

39 Responses to “TAMTASIC!!!!!!”

Twson 03 Jan 2009 at 4:31 pm 1

I’m a bit flabbergasted that Tommy Boy has done this. Does he need the money that badly? The wee minime guy will win.

Flying Cat 2on 03 Jan 2009 at 5:32 pm 2

Tammy loves the oxygen of publicity! Let’s see if he copes as well as wir Cammy.
Great idea grannye, especially for my parental units who watched the first BB and thought the rest would be crap due to learned behaviour. If you keep the thread running we can pop in to get a truly original slant on what might be a large acreage of banality with flashes (I hope) of brilliance! Or just flashers…
It would be a great service to some small parts of the Nation.

mjcon 03 Jan 2009 at 11:25 pm 3

“grannye under Uncategorized” – as per the census taker/slot placer. I think the correct term (for granny e in any case) should be “uncategorizable.” Truth in advertising and all that. # “The Naked Vicar” – is that part of an updated Aunt Agatha Christie/Miss Marples series? Sounds like it. Surely not a documentary of life in York, Salisbury or, heavens forbid, Canterbury? Tell us it ain’t so, Granny E.

Flying Cat 2on 04 Jan 2009 at 12:36 pm 4

I’m finding it hard to get to grips with the idea that any American would find Terry Christian’s accent less impenetrable than that of the People’s Bampot!

grannyeon 04 Jan 2009 at 5:49 pm 5

TWS. You dont believe this, you dont believe this?? Well, wait till you hear this, Ive only got mother(82) sneakin a peak!!!!!! She reports that last night Tommy was sayin he never saw himself being involved in such a show. But it turns out the fee will pay for his Law Degree, that’ll do nicely. I know he is in first year, but corr blimey, CBB? It beats working as a Flarette in Bath st. FC2. The brothers and sisters fae accross the pond seem to getting to grips with the accents in general, and yeah, Terry seems to be understood more easyily and continues to act as cheif translator. Just wondering if there might be a role for him after the show wi auld Tony, seems he could do wi a bit oh a hand with the communication difficulty in the middle east.
mjc, for your delight and delectation, the naked vicar, an anglican meenister fae near Cambridge, and has just started a new series on BBC2, called ‘Around the World in 80 Faiths’. The babelitious bible basher is Peter Owen Jones, I think you might be able to catch the programme on BBC iplayer on the worldwide service. This week he visitied an island where they dont bury their dead for years but keep them in the house and treat them as if still living. He attended the funeral of a man who had died 20 years previously!!But at least for this he wasnt naked. He then moved on to a wicca?? ceramony, which, yip, you guessed it, involved yet again gettin bollock naked. Which lets be honest for Peter isnt bad, last year he got but naked AND stoned. However, the series is at an early stage, so who knows whay we will get next. I’ll start a new page for this nonsence tomorrow.
Cheerie

Flying Cat 2on 05 Jan 2009 at 12:02 pm 6

Ah, now I know who the man in the recliner is…

mjcon 06 Jan 2009 at 2:34 pm 7

I heard that George W gave his old pal Tony a medal (no, no, a medal, not a presidential pardon). With that medal and a fiver, Tony should be able to get himself a latte at Heathrow or at the Ben Gourion International. You have to grant it to Tony: he can talk and chew at the same time. George W. showed that he could chew (gum of some sort, I think) and dodge (shoes) at the same time: if you don’t believe me, re-run the notorious footage and watch carefully. Both Tony and George W. are fast on their feet, in somewhat different ways. What a world we live in.

Flying Cat 2on 06 Jan 2009 at 11:24 pm 8

We need an update grannye. Some of us aren’t watching it and are relying on you to give it the inimitable grannye gloss…well, me’n’Marmers anyway

Barneyon 07 Jan 2009 at 1:58 pm 9

Well, I understand that the evenings in the Scottish Island can seem a bit long sometimes …. but this! According to my info, the Beeb doesn’t allow any out-of-the-UK-play stations to work because of copyright reasons, so they say. We on IB know better, their technicians can’t cut the mustard without getting spammed to a cinder!
The Naked Vicar reads as rather interesting – a sort of ethnography of local religions? Sexual and burial customs seem to offer the greatest scope for utterly mindblowing nonsencical human behaviour – this means there is hope for the world yet. On the subject of shoes, did ya’ see the picture of GWB – supposed to be somewhere on the West Bank – surrounded by a pile of cast shoes? Can you image what a headache this behavious is giving to the security louts … will everybody have to take off their shoes before attending White House briefings, etc., etc., etc., in the future? Could easily be turned into a islamic prayer meeting, eh? The mind boggles!

10. 

grannyeon 07 Jan 2009 at 2:04 pm 10

have ye seen this Barney? Its quite addictive. http://play.sockandawe.com/

Cheerie

11. 

barebraeson 07 Jan 2009 at 6:45 pm 11

Love the link Grannye I am geting better and aiming for a top score

12. 

Barneyon 07 Jan 2009 at 8:40 pm 12

Granneye, this makes my day! Thanks!! Pity I am so bad at throwing things but this gives me the incentive to practice. After all, he’s only going to be there a few more days. Let us have a global celebration on THE DAY – like globalgasm but a bit different.
Oh, I am going to be sitting up to all hours playing against my daughter Saga.

13. 

grannyeon 07 Jan 2009 at 10:28 pm 13

excellent idea Barney, a de-bushing party, I’m up for that!! Glad you guys enjoyed the game, a wee hint, it works better with an external mouse, not touchpad.]
Cheerie

14. 

Flying Cat 2on 07 Jan 2009 at 11:48 pm 14

I’ve had a few external mice in my time, but internal ones are more rewarding…

15. 

plaidon 08 Jan 2009 at 4:05 am 15

Oh dear … fancy being mistaken for Michael!!
A by the by re George W … he gave his wonderful friend, and follower into arms,k exPM of Australia, John [ny boy] Howard an award as well … much to the delight of Australian cartoonists.

16. 

grannyeon 08 Jan 2009 at 10:10 am 16

What, no award for Georgeous George of Galloway!! He WILL be dissapointed and greetin into his cornflakes…meow!!!!

17. 

Flying Cat 2on 08 Jan 2009 at 3:00 pm 17

He mustn’t be allowed to greet granny, his make-up will run…I’m not very good at this shoe-throwing thing, its my paws…

18. 

Hyper-Boreanon 08 Jan 2009 at 4:07 pm 18

A de-bushing party? In Brazil I take it.

19. 

Barneyon 08 Jan 2009 at 9:33 pm 19

My external mouse is sick so I don’t score more than 3 or 4 .. must find a fix! HyperB, I don’t get the connection betweeen ded-bush and Brazil .. please elaborate.

20. 

mjcon 08 Jan 2009 at 10:16 pm 20

So, Howard got a medal too. He seems to give more medals than Presidential pardons. It’s not true, is it Plaid, that Sarah Palin got one as well?

21. 

mjcon 08 Jan 2009 at 10:23 pm 21

Is it true that there is a new Nintendo Wii game involving the virtual throwing of shoes, including high heeled ones, at unmentionable objects (the latest ones being … well, the truth will out … Boris and Ken Leftalready)

22. 

Flying Cat 2on 08 Jan 2009 at 11:32 pm 22

You’re such an innocent, Cap’n Barney Do the Swedish gals not go for a Brazilian? (its. a. kind. of. haircut. not. of. the. head.)

23. 

plaidon 09 Jan 2009 at 6:08 am 23

Said with perfectly dean-pan face …. mjc, pray advise what medal Sarah Palin was in the running for?
Ah, politicians, past and long past, where would we be without ‘em?
Did I hear, “Better off”. Surely not.

24. 

Barneyon 09 Jan 2009 at 11:38 am 24

Not innnocent, EffCee, just thick .. “thick as mince” was an expression your fpu used last summer, very descriptive. I believe that this kind of barbering is pretty popular among younger Swedes, including, I can confirm from the sweaty sauna, among some men. Most regretfully I have not been in a position to observe the frequency amongst the opposite sex – to date.
Hyperborean, I imagined you to be rather old fashioned; looks like I’d better revise that judgement.

25. 

mjcon 09 Jan 2009 at 12:19 pm 25

St. Christopher medal would be more appropriate than the Medal of Freedom for Sarah Palin, don’t you think Plaid. This way, if she were to stray over into Russian territory (next door), St. Christopher will make sure she gets shipped home, 2nd. day air, on Aeroflot Lite, to Wasilia.

26. 

mjcon 09 Jan 2009 at 12:26 pm 26

Old fashioned, Hyper-B.? That’s a thought. Well, are you, Hyper-B.? Tell us the truth (maybe not the whole lot, but some). Give us some examples to document your self-characterization.

27. 

Flying Cat 2on 09 Jan 2009 at 2:09 pm 27

Oh I say she didn’t did she? Not about you I hope. Don’t be so darn tooting doggone honest for goodness sakes!
Fpu is trying very hard (sorry) not to imagine what a male Brazilian looks like…she really didn’t know men did it too…bless…
Yes come on Hyper, do tell…

28. 

Flying Cat 2on 09 Jan 2009 at 2:10 pm 28

Italics have escaped and are trying to take over EffCee’s Wee World. We won’t let ‘em!

29. 

Barneyon 09 Jan 2009 at 4:13 pm 29

Pray, dear friends, enlighten me glaringly into the exact slang overtones of “Brazilian”….. It was the ´JUXTAPOSITION of de-bushing and B. that flumoxed me, well, I probably wouldn’t have got there anyway without help but that was like a clue in the Times cross-word puzzle. Are Brazilian renown in the wider world outside Swithiod for their preference for what I believe is referred to in the Orient as “white chicken meat”?

No, EffCee, your fpu did not use the mince expression as referring to your co-respondent, but she could have.

30. 

Flying Cat 2on 09 Jan 2009 at 5:03 pm 30

Oh. I think I see your problemette Barney. I’ll try a subtle clue so as not to offend anyone. How about a bird with a bush is worth two in the hand…

31. 

Hyper-Boreanon 09 Jan 2009 at 9:39 pm 31

I don’t know, you make a perfectly innocent observation go away for a day and things take off. As for old fashioned, i might be but I do try to keep up. BTW Barney I can now commit to Mull, if it’s still on. I will email.

32. 

Barneyon 12 Jan 2009 at 11:15 am 32

Sorry Effin Grannie to blogpirate, but with reference to Hyperborean’s Mull comment, anyone who wants to join a Mull circumnavigation, probably in late May/early June, e-mail me at info@seglaiskottland.se. We can do the circumangivation even without geology lessons, although it would be very interesting to combine them.

33. 

Barneyon 12 Jan 2009 at 11:16 am 33

And I thought Brazil was a country…. gasp!

34. 

Hyper-Boreanon 12 Jan 2009 at 2:37 pm 34

Old fashioned mjc (funny how the comments seem to be out of synch). Well I still talk about oilskins and the wireless. The first haven’t actually been used since Dana went before the mast, we now wear breathable foul weather clothing, and the second went out with telegraphy at 25 words per minute. I also have some strange ideas about duty and social responsibility which seem to have gone out with Thatcher and Blair. Nuff said!

35. 

Flying Cat 2on 12 Jan 2009 at 3:37 pm 35

DID YOU REALLY BARNEY??? My word…

36. 

mjcon 12 Jan 2009 at 8:53 pm 36

I often think of Brazil in conjunction with nuts.

37. 

Flying Cat 2on 13 Jan 2009 at 9:27 am 37

Oh that’s a cracker

38. 

Barneyon 13 Jan 2009 at 4:26 pm 38

Please do not mention coconuts to Mjc. He will take liberties.

39. 

Flying Cat 2on 13 Jan 2009 at 11:14 pm 39

I hope they’re not dessicated…

DAY…OH, WHO CARES!!!

Right where are we up to. Well King Terry had a grand time during the task, dressed up as a king and being generally attended to by all in sundry. He put three up for eviction, as before Ulrikkkka, Lucy and then Ben, during the live show on Wednesday the group voted live for Ben, whoever he is, to be saved. Fun fun fun.

Then onto the next task, it was err, aye nuff said, three of them were press hacks, Lucy Coolio and Tina. They were trapped in a roped off pen and to be honest how Tina and Lucy didn’t string up the delightful Coolio is beyond me. Ulrikkkka and Vern did a fantastic rendition of Endless love, okay okay, they couldn’t sing a note between them, but the spectacle in itself was memorable. Ben and Meeechelle were a celeb couple so had to make up a cover story for themselves, hardly a stretch there then, just think a couple of episodes of Andre and Price and you get the idea. Terry and Mutaya were dressed as Chesney Hawks fans and had to worship at the Hawks alter by doing the old chest knees HAWKS chant, try it and you’ll get the idea. Tommy….well, he and Latoya did an ice skating torturous skit as salt and peppa, hmm wonder how many times Gail fell off the couch watching that one, hope she didnae spill her gin.  Guess what, they failed the task and are on basic rations, aww shame!!

This afternoon they are getting fit, well, playing football, so Tommy has donned the full Scotland kit and seems to be having fun.

I would like to bring up another point re Tommy. As you know concerns were raised on this blog at the beginning as to how the producers would portray Tamtastic, and in the beginning the amount of exposure was a concern as this usually denotes that the individual involved will become vilified. However , those fears were not really realised as Coolio turned out to be such an exceptional pratt he really did the work for them, thus Tommy was left alone to get on with his muppetry. HOWEVER, it appears the Glasgow Press didn’t share this stand down of ejjitness. This week they reported that an eminent Professor at Glasgow Uni had complained that Tommys singing of the Fields of Athenry was racist. Well, how ridiculous this entire debacle is again. Especially as the song that Tommy was actually singing was God Save the Queen, and THAT verse specifically. Makes you wonder why? why are the weegie press bringing this up, nae gang fights or drug arrests to report? And the proff, well, maybe if he concentrated more on his work than what level his twatometer was at the student body at Glasgow might learn summit. Just a thought but maybe they should all just bugger aff and sing the hokey cokey together.

Share and Enjoy:

2 Comments »

 

2 Responses to “Day…oh who cares!!”

Flying Cat 2on 10 Jan 2009 at 1:13 pm 1

You don’t think they’ve got it in for him do you?

thelandladyon 18 Jan 2009 at 12:23 am 2

I think he has conducted himself very well so far. I’m impressed. Ulrikkkka seems like a lovely person, the kind of person you could have a wee cappuccino with on a wet afternoon…

DE BUSHING PARTY

Well, in readiness for the American presidential inauguration we are jusy wondering what format should the DE-Bushing party take. Obviously this occasion cannot go uncelebrated. So, what Bushisms should be included. Any suggestions gratefully recieved.

Share and Enjoy:

17 Comments »

 

17 Responses to “DE-BUSHING PARTY”

mjcon 09 Jan 2009 at 9:39 pm 1

Bring them on. [unfortunately, they did not have to be asked twice] # (Osama) Wanted: dead or alive [unfortunately, he is still out there, somewhere in Pakistan probably] # I am not a crook [oh, that was NOT him, but rather another well known Republican, Richard M. Nixon] # I did not have sexual relations with that woman [Oh that was NOT Bush. The speaker of those words was a Democratic President. And he was not referring to Chrissie Mary Morrison.]. Please keep your shoes on [that, we presume, will be the first request to the Press Corps by our next Commander in Chief]. # The Republic has survived/will survive them all, provided God continues to help us in our times of dire need [yesterday, right now, and into the distant future, it seems]. ### By the way, what’s this I hear about squirrels being a new delicacy in the UK? Sold out as soon as they make an appearance at your local butcher.

plaidon 10 Jan 2009 at 4:12 am 2

We will go in with shock and awe, though that little ‘gem’ slipped under the door as well.
I suggest a party with simply hundreds of cream sponge cakes … they are softer than shoes, so the shock will be the absolute mess a soft missle can make, and the awe? What Barbara will say when confronted with that mess to clean up.
I guess, that even with all the lies and half truths and deliberate gaffs he has made, he has made his mark on the world. I wonder how history will treat him? In say 200 years?

Hyper-Boreanon 10 Jan 2009 at 10:10 am 3

Squirrels mjc. Only the nasty grey american ones, our pretty red ones are endangered so ethnic cleansing is in order. It’s the same with crayfish, eat the american ones and protect the natives.

Barneyon 10 Jan 2009 at 11:37 am 4

Wow, do UK residents eat crayfish? I thought that lind of behaviour was considered on a par with squirrels and spiders, so only the impossible French and the gloomy Swedes has descended to such low food-stuffs. And it would seem that the UK native crayfish suffers from the same disease as the Swedish ones.
To the point! How to celebrate De Bush Party. Considering that we are living somewhat spaced out across the globe, it has to be time-coordinated (UTC) and possible to celebrate individually while at the same time feeling a strong empathetic attachment to all other celebrants, at least I:B ones. I suggest the simple expedient of opening a bottle of something at the set time – here I appeal to MJC as our man on the ground for a proposal — and shoutling at the top of one’s voice “Good Riddence to a Thick Bush”. Those who want to emphasise their message can retire to the bathroom with a shaving kit. The results can thene be displayed on Facebook or YOutube or whatetever under the titlle “Bushido, or Debushing the Bush: 8 years is 8 years too long”. This scenario can doubtless be improved upon by I:Bers with more imagination and humour, the important thing is that all is agreed and in place on the BIG DAY. Folks, this is the chance for IB to make a real impact on the world, seize it with both feet!

Flying Cat 2on 10 Jan 2009 at 1:11 pm 5

“Actually, I –” this may sound a little West Texas to you, but I like it. When I’m talking about –” when I’m talking about myself, and when he’s talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.”
I feel this is a possibly misunderestimated classic Bush-ism…though this isn’t bad either…
“I’m honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein.”

Hyper-Boreanon 10 Jan 2009 at 3:34 pm 6

Re crayfish eating and UK citizens. I think the answer is only a few although it would be a good idea if more of us ate the signal crayfish. Indeed I think it would be a good idea to fish it to extinction in this country. Part of the problem is that in order to protect the native crayfish strict controls on catching any of the critters have been imposed. A licence is require to set traps in any UK waterway. So very few people actually catch crayfish and I suspect those that do consume them themselves. I certainly have not seen any, other than frozen or processed imported specimens, for sale. I assume from Barney’s comment that the signal crayfish has become established in Scandinavia as it has here.

ALZon 10 Jan 2009 at 3:38 pm 7

As a US citizen I have had the chance to vote for…..well let’s just say my share of Presidents. Each one who has served in my lifetime has been a disappointment in some way or another. The most we can hope for is that each one of them does not embarrass us in front of the rest of the world.

The only way that the US has any hope of moving ahead is to clean out ALL the senators and representatives and start with a clean slate. Preferably without the house and senate being full of career politicians and lawyers. A president can only do what those two bodies of government allow. So the most we can hope is that the new president is not an embarrassment in front of the world.

I’m hopeful, but then I am each time we get a new leader. Maybe someday, before I die, I will actually see one that I’m proud off. I chose to see the glass as 1/2 full.

Barneyon 10 Jan 2009 at 6:21 pm 8

Bushels of them!

mjcon 11 Jan 2009 at 12:58 am 9

“I’m honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein” – apparently a Bush pearl, as reported by FC2 # He didn’t really, did he, FC?

10. 

mjcon 11 Jan 2009 at 1:02 am 10

Shock and Awe was Rumsfeld, not George W (I think, but my memory is not as good as it used to be) Plaid.

11. 

grannyeon 11 Jan 2009 at 2:12 pm 11

Sock and Awe was definatly Bush!!!! I have the game to prove it.

12. 

Flying Cat 2on 11 Jan 2009 at 4:55 pm 12

I think Mia might agree with that

13. 

Twson 12 Jan 2009 at 10:50 am 13

Yo Blair……..
. “I think I was unprepared for war.” –on the biggest regret of his presidency, ABC News interview, Dec. 1, 2008
“I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.” –Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
The last one, in my humblest of humble opinion is the best. Cheery,,,

14. 

Hyper-Boreanon 13 Jan 2009 at 12:04 pm 14

Just a thought. If it’s dubya we are de-bushing can we do it one at a time with tweezers, I seem to recall its a biblical punishment,. Maccabees lurks in the recesses of what was once my brain.

15. 

mjcon 13 Jan 2009 at 2:20 pm 15

Hyper-B: nah, let him go.

16. 

Harryd(Canada)on 15 Jan 2009 at 8:11 pm 16

“Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is—I’m not sure 80 percent of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if I’m the president.”
There are so many we are going to miss him for them.
He was a good sport about them though a terrible President.

17. 

Flying Cat 2on 19 Jan 2009 at 3:31 pm 17

Tomorrow’s the Big Day. Just heard an interview with a mixed race couple and their children in UK who are going over to Washington for the inauguration. They want to be able to say in years to come – “We were there!” It was very moving.

EMIGRATION ANYONE?

The only reason I ask is that Tamtastic is askin Coolio for cookin tips!! Now you may or may not know this, but one of Tamtastics manifesto promises/aims/desires, was free meals for all school kids. If This is the calibre of nutrition we will now expect from school kitchens I suggest an en-mass emigration, well, that or large doses of bisodol in the way they used to hand out vitamins during the war. Otherwise I will describe CBB thus, moan moan, grumble grumble, bitch bitch. So that will be the end of that discussion. I promise I will try to pay better attention.

Meanwhile back at the ranch. Middle daughter has been convinced by college lecturers to pursue a career in politics. And to that end we will be attending a meeting at the local MP’s constituency surgery on Friday, wont that be fun. I’m going along to act as referee, the topic is a new Army Careers office which has opened up in the locale, middle daughter is livid, and to be honest I’m none too chuffed myself. Basically this area has been going down the pan for a long time, and in recent months this has accelerated, so what do they do, invite the local lads to become cannon fodder because frankly there is no other hope of employment. So middle daughter is off to see what the hell the MP intends to do about it. (A wee bit oh background, I come from a services family, mine is the only generation who ain’t joined up, and that was only cause the parents wouldn’t sign the papers. Why, because turns out it wasn’t as much fun as it said on the tin and they didn’t want the kiddies joining in, and by the time we were old enough not to require a signature we had followed other paths. )

The youngest is at present being starved oot by her father, she is just finding out that this is what has been happening to her brother for years. The boy is now instructing his wee sis on how to live on pot noodles and the like and where to purchase a pad lockable trunk to keep supplies in. Aint my ex such a charmer.

Speaking of the boy, Maw and I were in the toon to spend big on the Christmas book token fest he got us. Paul O’Grady and Alan Bennett were the main purchases with an Iona book thrown in and wee book along the lines of teach yourself Gaelic, I bought it cause it was an antique. Otherwise its all quiet on the western front.

Share and Enjoy:

6 Comments »

 

6 Responses to “Emigration anyone?”

mjcon 15 Jan 2009 at 2:28 am 1

Which books by Alan Bennett and Paul O’Grady did you get? # ..”all quiet on the western front” effin grannie. — you are sounding as if you are ready to start a book club, or join the Coll one (with Nic). Remarque’s book was their last read, and they tackled An Uncommon Reader not so long ago.

Harryd(Canada)on 15 Jan 2009 at 2:49 am 2

Good blog, Hope your daughter does well at the meeting
the army is not for everyone, I grew up in a mining village and
the choice if you were not brilliant like I was not was to go doon the pit or join the forces. I once went to join up and I wanted a trade in the forces. I was willing to join for five years and was told to get a trade I had to join for 9 years, I said no thanks.
My Brother in law hated the pits after his National Service and joined for 18 years. He is in his mid seventies now and says he liked it. I’m glad I did not join.
You know more than me about the life I’m sure and I agree this is a bad time to possibly be cannon fodder.
I had school meals at primary school and loved the tapioca pudding ha and the wee bottle of milk for lunch.

soapladyon 15 Jan 2009 at 10:24 am 3

Very interesting re Army recruitment … There was a program on telly about same in the US … They said that exactly the same happened there when they needed fodder for Dubyahs crusade … I guess, for many reasons that aren’t pleasant to spell out, they figured it would be easier to recruit from run-down areas … Not pleasant at all, is it …

Hyper-Boreanon 15 Jan 2009 at 11:55 am 4

I have been tempted by the Paul O’Grady autobiography. Partly because the reviews suggest several parallels with my own life. He apparently went to the same school as I did, albeit several years after I left. I’m not, however, tempted to buy it as my library is getting out of hand. Methinks a trip to the public library is in order.

Barneyon 15 Jan 2009 at 4:19 pm 5

Very interesting, I remember how poor sods who joined up to get a trade in the 70’s suddenly found themselves in Belfast, no fun at all. The trouble is, we do need armed forces .. here in wimpy Sweden they are cutting back and cuting abck and then got a great big hick-up when Georiga and Russia sudelny went at it hammer and tongs last summer. ANd now Russie has put the gas squeeze on. So the lame statements form the Swedissh Defence Minster of “all quiet on the Western Front” have rung pretty hollow these last months. Remarque’s book is great, and if you want another great WWI read, try Ernst Junger “The Storm of Steel” or something like that, I only have the Swedish title “Stålstormen”. EJ survived after 12 major wounds and was all for war but not a Nazi. His description of how his regiment got literally blown to shreads in the First Battle of the Somme is unbelievable.

Flying Cat 2on 16 Jan 2009 at 8:21 pm 6

I’d be quite surprised if the MP intended to do anything about it. The armed forces are a bit of a sacred coo…unless you have a genuinely Socialist MP grannye…and I thought they were a’ deid or converted to New Labour

ISLAND ENVY?

Anyone think this exists?

Share and Enjoy:

24 Comments »

 

24 Responses to “Island envy”

mjcon 15 Jan 2009 at 1:51 am 1

Are you talking about Barbados, Mauritius, St. Lucia? or some place where gannets grace the skies, and the weather is less than clement (for a good part of the year)?

smiffyon 15 Jan 2009 at 4:27 am 2

grannye, you’ve got it!

Flying Cat 2on 15 Jan 2009 at 10:32 am 3

I’m very envious of people on mainland Britain…which is also an island!

Harryd(Canada)on 15 Jan 2009 at 7:05 pm 4

Most people I know were jealous of people owning getaway
summer homes on islands in Onrtario where I live.
I think it is not so much now as the trip to get to the Cottages
takes hours in bumper to bumper traffic. I have met people who
have sold their places due to the time cost etc to get there.
I think people are drawn to the water though. I think it’s in our
dna.

Barneyon 15 Jan 2009 at 9:18 pm 5

Harryd, that’s where it all started!

Flying Cat 2on 15 Jan 2009 at 10:32 pm 6

Back to Basics with Barney. Great name for your ib blog Cap’n P, when may we look forward to it appearing?

mjcon 15 Jan 2009 at 10:39 pm 7

Some folks in NYC on that Airbus thought that water is where the end would be too.

Leson 16 Jan 2009 at 12:48 am 8

FC – you’ll be having all and sundry here soon! Barney can’t get in now (as he knows)!

Barneyon 16 Jan 2009 at 12:56 pm 9

And doesn’t want to! IB takes up too much time as it is. And that c*t would be encouraged. Original verb was “wastes” but, not being as smart as some swanky qudruped, can’t manage the overstrike. Well, I bet I could if I wanted to spend an hour or two on the job, but it just ain’t worth it.

10. 

Flying Cat 2on 16 Jan 2009 at 8:16 pm 10

Well I think its admirable that you can spend ‘an hour or two on the job’ Cap’n P. Respec’

11. 

Barneyon 17 Jan 2009 at 4:43 pm 11

Let us pass that one by in the silence that it deserves, in the interests of the morals of our younger readers.

12. 

smiffyon 17 Jan 2009 at 5:52 pm 12

an hour or two? part timer. get tantric.

13. 

Flying Cat 2on 17 Jan 2009 at 10:48 pm 13

Tantric? Please leave Hints&Tips for the older reader

14. 

thelandladyon 18 Jan 2009 at 12:33 am 14

. Island Envy?? oh aye. Definitely. I feel really envious now that I’ve seen Stromness Dagon’s wee bit of heaven. also I suspect that the further you are from the mainland, the more scenic the view,,, I in millport look out over Cumbrae Joinery and it ain’t pretty, although it’s honest work!!The islands perhaps suffer from the romantic ideal, but you have to have employment or else they will die, and sometimes the employment might leave scar on the landscape.
As to the Tantric stuff…. I’d rather have a cup of tea, to quote Boy George..

15. 

Hyper-Boreanon 19 Jan 2009 at 2:26 pm 15

Island Envy, of course it exists. The problem is, as many find out when they achieve their dream, there aint no such place as heaven; it’s inside you. I have lived, and been happy, places that many would regard as heaven. Think South Pacific apart from Scottish Islands. They all had their downsides and some people having got there couldn’t wait to get out. The main problems however were almost entirely related to the person and not the place.

16. 

mjcon 19 Jan 2009 at 3:47 pm 16

Barney: did you mean “cat wastes” or “waste cat”?

17. 

Barneyon 19 Jan 2009 at 6:57 pm 17

Mjc, “wastes” was going to refer to IB but I completely understand that you felt it should apply to something else which shall here be nameless.
Tomorrow the new boy on the block has to don his Superman clothes and the day after he has to start rolling back at least some of that which the crapular Capulet left behind .. people go on about Irak, but get hold of that National Debt, woah! US average level of taxation is 21%, in sweden we hover around 40-45% depending on how you count it (direct and indirect taxes, etc., etc,) and we have been over 50%. When i see the cloud of doom gathering aver all those lovely soon-to-be-retired folks in the Land of the Free, I shivers me timbers! They are not going to be free much longer..

18. 

Flying Cat 2on 19 Jan 2009 at 7:58 pm 18

 

19. 

mjcon 21 Jan 2009 at 1:38 pm 19

Oh, Barney, we’ll still (hopefully) be free, but we may be poor (or poorer). I have ordered my seeds from Thompson and Morgan and Seeds of Change, ready for this year’s Victory Garden. As to Sweden’s taxation level: yes, your taxes are higher, but you get your money’s worth. # Oh Grannie, time for another posting. I hope it is not arthritis preventing you from banging on that keyboard.

20. 

Flying Cat 2on 21 Jan 2009 at 5:17 pm 20

She’s far far too young for that.

21. 

Hyper-Boreanon 21 Jan 2009 at 9:38 pm 21

I agree in Sweden you actually get what you pay for tax wise. Having said that i have just had my evening meal and a pint or so of good ale courtesy of the the EU. I think of of it as my VAT rebate. By way of explanation I have spent the afternoon at a conference on fishing heritage and how we can use it to go forward in tourism and cultural studies and, in truth, the learning was worth more than the excellent buffet. So double VAT rebate.

22. 

Flying Cat 2on 21 Jan 2009 at 10:39 pm 22

It makes you stammer, all that beer!

23. 

Barneyon 22 Jan 2009 at 8:09 pm 23

Of course everyone in Sweden thinks wee should get more for our taxes, but that is par for the course. The point I want to make is that any democratic system has to have the renminbi to make it work and here the US has been undercapitalised, just as its infrastructure is undercapitalised and for the same reason. Obama sounded right but can he get all the log-jammers moving?

24. 

x333xxxon 24 Jan 2009 at 4:31 pm 24

I rather think it does, but give me a Scottish one (rather than any other nationality) any day.

I’m sure there’s some postcode envy rolled in there too … must say I’d rather love to have an HS3 but without the commute (although I do know a few people who think nothing of Tarbert-Stornoway every day)!

Better island envy than the p word envy!

HI HO HERE WE GO!!

Sorry for the break in service, daughter stole back her lap top!!! Anyway, CBB, well, still mince, Gail told the local radio station that she thinks Tamtastic will go out tonight, on the grounds that he is being too nationalistic. Frankly, I think his explanation to Coolio of socialism last night was hilarious, Coolios’ face wis a picture.

What else has been going on, well to be honest not much. We did briefly have the return of the errant neighbour, at 3am on Sunday morning, with all his cronies, excellent, just what i needed after the winds. So my close is now officially party central at the weekend, until the polis work out where he hides at the weekend, which usually takes at least 3 months. Oh and the pre-neds are back out in force. One of them kicked a football at the dog, which missed fortunately, and no the dog wasn’t anywhere near him at the time. i suspect the little fat bastard was trying to impress his burd!!!! So it’ll be back to throwing coal roon corners on out nighttime walks again Deckieboy. (Did I mention I hate this place? Does this explain why I dream of an island?)

On the good news front, what an inauguration, I confess I wept buckets. Poor wean thought granny had lost the plot. I like the cut of Obama’s jib, just hope he gets the chance to fix things and if he cant people remember that a lot of the problems are global and outwith his control. I do believe I’m fallin in love with America again…the aunties will be soooo pleased.

Share and Enjoy:

15 Comments »

 

15 Responses to “Hi ho here we go”

Flying Cat 2on 21 Jan 2009 at 5:15 pm 1

Wasn’t it an excellent speech? It flew by and yet he got so much into it. Only missed the kitchen sink by a whisker! The last American event I made a special point of watching was in 1969…
The only slightly jarring note for me was the first pastor who came over as distinctly unsavoury, but the old Civil Rights preacher more than made up for it! Not a dry eye in the hoose.
Things…can only…get better…
Wonder how he’ll get on with Our Gordy and the Speshul Relationship…

Flying Cat 2on 21 Jan 2009 at 5:16 pm 2

PS If I win the Lottery grannye, you can have this hoose free gratis. I have a dream…

Barneyon 21 Jan 2009 at 6:05 pm 3

AH, it was wet cheeks here in the Barnhoos, we shal overcome again, bringing back the US into the pale of the nearly civilised instead of the completely uncivilised. EffCee get it right re. the preachermen, I suppose that is a “balanced” position. Grannye, you spik in riddles but I hope he/whatever is troubling you soon doesn’t!

mjcon 21 Jan 2009 at 6:53 pm 4

The Obama speech was not bad at all, both content and delivery. The folks in the UK must have been wondering what on earth he was prattling about, re: George Washington and the enemy that had been giving us a rather hard time (eh, Hyper-B., play that Lonnie Donegan tune again!). Kidding folks, just kidding. I certainly wish the new President good luck, and oodles of good judgment, and are thankful that most of you wish him (and us) the very best. Those next few years are going to be awfully tough for the decision makers and for the ordinary citizens (of the US and many other countries).

Flying Cat 2on 21 Jan 2009 at 7:19 pm 5

We can buy US wine again…boycott over…

mjcon 21 Jan 2009 at 8:48 pm 6

FC, you deserve the best. California is it. Treat yourself, and help the Terminator balance the State’s books.

smiffyon 21 Jan 2009 at 9:29 pm 7

mr putin is way sexier than obama. but, on a cold night…

Hyper-Boreanon 21 Jan 2009 at 9:45 pm 8

Barnhoos Barney, or barnhus? Enjoyed the speech. I had expected a much shorter performance Gettysburg style. I actually appreciated the numerous , if sometimes obscure, references. That said I will not yet celebrate too much. I did that when one Anthony Linton Blair gained power and I was sair disapointet. Nevertheless good luck to the man and to the States. We’ve all caught the cold so let’s hope that we can all benefit from the remedy.

carol chauveauon 21 Jan 2009 at 10:34 pm 9

am i the only person who didn’t see or hear the speech?? i haven’t bought a tele yet for the new house-in fact i’ve only watched the tele once since arriving here—-yup,ignorance is bliss!!

10. 

Flying Cat 2on 21 Jan 2009 at 10:38 pm 10

Putin sexy????? Sexy like a rattlesnake. Obama is drop-dead-gorgeous! So I’m told…I have to keep reminding myself I’m a cat…

11. 

plaidon 22 Jan 2009 at 5:41 am 11

Us folks in the southern hemisphere had to get up real early [1.15 am Inauguration time in Western Australia] so I gave it a miss, knowing that we would hear almost all again over and over.
Mr President has a hard row to hoe, but at the moment the world is on his side … long may that last!
Putin has cold eyes … never trust a man with cold eyes

12. 

mjcon 22 Jan 2009 at 11:34 am 12

Putin sexier, smiffy? Only if you have had too much vodka, did you say?

13. 

Barneyon 22 Jan 2009 at 8:04 pm 13

And NEUTER.

14. 

grannyeon 23 Jan 2009 at 12:44 am 14

poor smiffy, such strange ideas about men…but then…who the hell am i to speak, consdiering we are about to enter a bigamous relationship wi the same man!!!!

15. 

Barneyon 23 Jan 2009 at 8:42 pm 15

Bigamy? Oh, good!

THAT’S IT..AHN NO PLAYIN

Jan 22nd 2009grannyeUncategorized

 

ANYMORE NONSENCE AND ILL SEND THE PIXIE POLIS TAE GET THEM!!!

Well, would you Adam and Eve it, they only evicted Tamastic in the second round tonight…mind you LaToya went first, lol. Turns out Tam the peoples bam had had quite enough thank you very much and wanted hame tae the wife and the wean. Oh well, another hero falls by the wayside. I’d love to know what his note fae his maw will say re his absence fae uni for three weeks!?!  So to be honest its turned into the most deflated series ever. I suspect I wont be watching this summer, well, none oh my weans auditioned this year and it kinda spoils it when you know that them not answering the phone on launch night is cause they are in the pub and not about to pop up on channel 4 with the scheme to keep their mother in the style to which she became accustomed but some bugger whipped fae under her feets.

News on other fronts. Another veesit fae the polis the night, long convo on the stair heid landin, ‘have you seen him?’, ‘has he been here?’, dae a look like the local hoodlums social secretary?? Ah mean, dae ah? ……..Then surprise surprise. five minutes later the door goes again, and if it isnae the bold boy himself. ‘Ah bottled it there, whit did they want?’ well dear, if you ain’t worked that out by now then your thicker than you look, and I doubt that’s possible. Anyhoo, thar he stood, bin bag wie his duvet and some jeans stickin oot, and a brown wooden oblong case, the likes of which I have only seen used for three purposes, carrying a three piece snooker cue, firearms, or sharp pointy middle eastern weapons!!!!! \helluva geld I didnae stand in the close and say ‘he’s behind the door ociffer.’ Anyway, off he stomped into the night, and with a bit of luck that will be the last of him for a few months, until he gets galus again and starts havin more smartie parties.

Share and Enjoy:

22 Comments »

 

22 Responses to “THATS IT..AHM NO PLAYIN”

mjcon 22 Jan 2009 at 12:48 pm 1

“and a brown wooden oblong case” -EG # Are you sure it was not Joshua Bell under deep cover carrying his Stradivarius. Rumor has it that he’ll be playing near the train station (the name escapes me – Queen Street is it not?) in the vicinity of George Square, to see whether the locals can tell the difference between a bagpipe and a fiddle. # Oh, Effin Grannie, what does “ah bottled it there” mean? Is it Glaswegian or your own inventive lingo?

Flying Cat 2on 22 Jan 2009 at 1:05 pm 2

Dear me such linguistic ignorance! “I chickened out”…and quite right too! You want to keep the heid grannye in more ways than one!
But that Pixie Polis, she’ll put the fear of god into him and no mistake. May I refer mjc to two excellent slim volumes, ‘The Patter’ and ‘The Patter, Another Blast‘ by Michael Munro and ye’ll jist hae tae thole ma smiley!

mjcon 22 Jan 2009 at 2:18 pm 3

Alright, I just ordered the book (contains both volumes). Of course, it would be more useful if it came with a CD as well… Otherwise pronunciation and delivery might be a problem if I were to try my book learning on the locals on my next visit.

Flying Cat 2on 22 Jan 2009 at 6:18 pm 4

That could be like a sort of American Parliamo Glasgow. The natives would be fair tickled. Just avoid the ones carrying brown wooden oblong cases… I didn’t know it was still in print…I feel the dead hand of responsibility descend once more onto my furry shoulder.

smiffyon 22 Jan 2009 at 6:34 pm 5

you keep the criminal, i’ll have the pixie! she’s lovely!

Harryd(Canada)on 22 Jan 2009 at 6:41 pm 6

mjc If you just say out loud how the wurds are written, It’s easy and makes perfect sense. Grannies wurds are very easy to read and it’s good to read them as written cos yi feel like yer tharesmert wummin that.

Harryd(Canada)on 22 Jan 2009 at 6:49 pm 7

Grannie you lead an eventful life nae wonder you want to move.
My sister had much the same, though nae criminals thank god.
lived in middle flat one above always left bath running over, flooding through sisters ceiling. Couple across fighting drunk all hours. Finaly was able to move due to stairs affecting her angina
problem. Waited years though.

Harryd(Canada)on 22 Jan 2009 at 7:12 pm 8

I remember in England I was asked to play Football. I said I’m sorry Ivnaefitbabits Thats what I mean.

Barneyon 22 Jan 2009 at 8:02 pm 9

Wow, life in the raw! And language. But with practise no doubt we will all become fluent. Roll on the day.

10. 

Hyper-Boreanon 22 Jan 2009 at 9:36 pm 10

Its rapatwah annat. So it is.

11. 

mjcon 22 Jan 2009 at 9:59 pm 11

You folks lost me, but I suspect you are dying from laughter at your own words. “rapatwah annat” and “ivnaefitbabits” – I have said them loud, breaking the words down in various ways, uttering them with various emphases, and still no dice. Barney seems to get it (happens, from time to time, with Barney), but I certainly do not. And, pray tell Grannie, what does “until he gets galus again” mean? I do not have the book that will reveal all secrets just yet.

12. 

Harryd(Canada)on 23 Jan 2009 at 12:01 am 12

no football boots.

13. 

Harryd(Canada)on 23 Jan 2009 at 12:26 am 13

Barney, the English friends had a laugh , just keeping it lighthearted.

14. 

grannyeon 23 Jan 2009 at 12:35 am 14

People, oh my people, let me answer you in order.
mjc..can I please assure you that my neighbour wouldnae know a stradivarious fae his elbow!! Could I also point out that had Mr Bell struck up, so to speak, in Queen Street he would not have been ignored and would most likely have made a small fortune.
Ah bottled it = I sh*t myself. Last time this was heard in my hearing was from the best man at my wedding to my briesmaid, frankly she never got over that! You can take the man out of Possil but you cant take Possil outa the man, as I found to my cost.
FC2..right on wi the keepin the heid thingy. Actually he has quite a soft spot for the wean, so you see he isane all bad. excellent choice of literature.
mjc..good to see you took the operchasity to order those books, and youll be glad to hear phonetic explainations are included.
FC2..wise words oh furry one, follow your destiny. Be an edjumicator.
smiffy..sorry the pixie isnt for sale, she is lookin for ward to her hodilays n ‘mull of kintyre’!!!!!!!!!
Barney..whit an attractive chanterer you is!! As for the hoose shift, nae chance oh a flittin oanie time soon, and thats wi angina, GHA…dont get me started on that lot!!!! One day I will though. And pair wean wi nae bits fur his feets, you could ah been in the national team.
mjc..language timothy!!!…sorry I used to love sorry.

Hyperb..tis indeed.
mjc..until he gets galus again = until he becomes brave enough to return to his abode.. gallus/brave/bit of a show off/strutty type. Not to be confused with galluses, which are braces for holding your trousers up.
Ive/na/fitba/bits= I have no football boots pronounced ahve nae fitba bits, hope Barney doesnt mind me takin liberies there

Well, there you go, as per usual i have probably posed more questions than supplied answers, but you cant have everything.
THE MANAGEMENT APOLOGISES TO THE INTERNATIONAL WEEGIE SOCIETY FOR ANY MIS SPELLINGS HOWEVER REMINDS READERS SHE IS INDEED DYSPEPSIC!!!!

15. 

grannyeon 23 Jan 2009 at 12:36 am 15

Barney, you gave me a fright there sneakin up and postin while I wis typin, lol

16. 

Hyper-Boreanon 23 Jan 2009 at 12:37 pm 16

mjc. C’est le patois. N’est que pas. Ra for some reason = the in the patter. I wonder, given the Auld Alliance, if patter actually comes from patois. Annat = and that byraway.

17. 

Harryd(Canada)on 23 Jan 2009 at 3:22 pm 17

Grannie, I was nae wean, 22yrs old at time . working with 2 kids.

18. 

Flying Cat 2on 23 Jan 2009 at 5:40 pm 18

http://video.stv.tv/bc/scotland-hogmanay-19881231-stanley-baxter-parliamo-glasgow/

19. 

Barneyon 23 Jan 2009 at 8:40 pm 19

Grannie, sorry to frighten you. I understand about as much as Mjc, which is suprising considering the difference in IQ between us. ANyway, it’s all good clean fun (I think).

20. 

grannyeon 23 Jan 2009 at 9:06 pm 20

lol Barney, actually you frightened me because just as I pressed the post button your blog came up on the page. Obviously despiye yon big bit oh watter we sometimes keep the same hours, lol.

21. 

Flying Cat 2on 24 Jan 2009 at 1:53 pm 21

Yizzaraperrarightstoatirs!

22. 

Barneyon 24 Jan 2009 at 9:22 pm 22

Granneye, I can add that your lingo goes way beyond “Oor Wullie” and “The Beano” on which you correspondent was weaned. Same hours, eh? Wounder what that presages.

THERE YE GO THEN

Well, thank cheeses that’s that over for another year, but who would ever have thought Ulrika would have won, girl power and all that hen. I’m just wondering if Calum could book her to open the Dell Fank festivities this year, it seems she is happy to attend the opening of an envelope…for a small fee and lashings of ginger beer of course. Lassies, you will be delighted to hear Coolio was gutted and made a total prat of himself as usual. So, only the tennis at 8.30, then the mad dash to tidy/clean before rellies arrive for a veesit on Sunday.

The Naked Vicar was in the Middle East this week. Disappointingly only semi nakedness from some other bloke when he visited some strange American Jewish sect in Israel. But a Filipino wummin did look very excited to meet and Anglican priest…and I mean very excited. Then he went to some Jewish festival which involves getting blind drunk.Now this would normally be right up Peties street, however, someone threw a bottle of vodka at him and they beat a retreat to the car. Surprised he didnae ask the crew to wait a moment till he sooked up the beverage wi a straw. Missed the rest of it.

Forgot to mention the delicious Mr Fry was on Jonathan Ross and was heard to exclaim that he was glad to assist him in his return form the naughty step. very droll. Redecorating has come to a stand still as I forgot to purchase the paint for the walls, so looks like the study wont be up and running for the start of the OU course after all. I shall try and text more information about the bigamous relationship over the weekend.

Cheerie

Share and Enjoy:

2 Comments »

 

2 Responses to “THERE YE GO THEN”

x333xxxon 24 Jan 2009 at 12:48 pm 1

The lovely Ulrika only won because I voted for her five times last night when it got down to just herself and Terry.

I’m convinced my five votes (I’d not voted at all in CBB09 until this point) made all the difference. The sainted Davina said she won with 57.6% of the final vote, so I’m sure of it!

Flying Cat 2on 24 Jan 2009 at 1:55 pm 2

Fpu is quite chuffed to hear Ulrika-ka-ka won. Up the gurrls right enough! Innamannaraspeakin

LOOKS LIKE WE NEED A ‘B’ PLAN SMIFFY

Oh well, that’s another fine plan ruined!! A friend, Smiffy, and I had this great plan to become involved with a rich old man in a bigamous relationship. We didn’t actually want his money, just his property. In return we would let him live in a caravan out the back and visit him occasionally, but would be quite happy to do his laundry and make his meals. Sounded to us like the perfect plan, and we were sure they man would be grateful that he had finally fallen over some gals that weren’t gold diggers. We were even willing to sing his favourite song to him on a daily basis. but it looks like the plan is scuppered, according to the mirror today Makka is planning to get married again, and our names ain’t mentioned in dispatches!!! Hmm, looks like our rendition of ‘Mull Of KIntyre’ didn’t do the trick and Sir Paul had left us in the lurch. So any suggestions on alternatives? I’m sitting here watching Witness, wonder if an Amish community on a Scottish Island would be a good alternative? Amish on the Island, it has a certain ring to it don’t you think?

Share and Enjoy:

19 Comments »

 

19 Responses to “LOOKS LIKE WE NEED A ‘B’ PLAN SMIFFY!!”

Leson 25 Jan 2009 at 2:33 am 1

At this rate he won’t have any money left by the time he gets round to you (at least you are being honest and not pretending that you love him). Still, seeing as he loved his first wife so much, I can’t really see him getting married to anyone else!

Wouldn’t Amish Lighthouse be better?

mjcon 25 Jan 2009 at 3:03 am 2

You both sound like the bargain of a life time. All you wanted was his real property, not his investments with Bernie Madoff. Sounds reasonable to me. # Have you considered X3? He might be prepared to part with his car, in exchange for washing and brushing up Molly from time to time? What, by the way, do you mean by “make his meals”? Surely you would not want to spend more time than necessary on culinary misadventures when all you have to do is to stick Aunt Bessie in the microwave for a perfectly acceptable artery clogging pud? Again, try X3. Keep us posted.

x333xxxon 25 Jan 2009 at 8:14 am 3

Mmmm, hey you could name it the Amish Lighthouse

http://aRnish.islandblogging.co.uk/

smiffyon 25 Jan 2009 at 11:54 am 4

the man’s a fool.

Flying Cat 2on 25 Jan 2009 at 1:03 pm 5

Which one?

mjcon 25 Jan 2009 at 1:30 pm 6

Who raised his hand? Certainly it was not me.

smiffyon 25 Jan 2009 at 1:35 pm 7

sir paul is the fool. he’s had one good marriage, so he’s already ahead of most of the rest of the world. then he had a stinker. does he learn from his mistake? no. he’s doing it again.
“dear sir paul. if its the woman in the boat you’re thinking of marrying, could i point out to you that young blondes are genuinely only interested in your money. as long as you are clear about that, go ahead. and get this one tied up in legal knots before signing up to anything.”
grannye and i are only interested in your house….

Flying Cat 2on 25 Jan 2009 at 5:14 pm 8

Is he really gittin hitched again??? Nobody ever tells me anything…mutter mutter.
Wouldn’t you think the man could just gratefully accept a s**g when he gets one without tying himself in legal knots.
A leg end in his own time…

Barneyon 25 Jan 2009 at 5:58 pm 9

I can, EffCee, but no one asks …. these days.

10. 

smiffyon 25 Jan 2009 at 6:31 pm 10

aw, that makes him sound nice…can’t get a s**g without wanting to get married… bless him.

11. 

Gale NC, USAon 25 Jan 2009 at 7:43 pm 11

Effin, I don’t think you want an Amish community on or near your Scottish Isles. I invite you to google Amish puppy mills. You will have a changed opinion of the Amish. Granted, I’m sure there are some that are very good people and probably pray for the souls of the wicked, but then again, how can they turn their heads and do nothing. The Amish running the puppy mills are committing the worst of sins in my humble opinion. The mennonites are are also in the business too. If people insist on pedigreed dogs, they should always do some reasearch and find a reputable breeder and visit the premises, ideally unannounced. Humane societies are doing their best to put these people out of business. Sorry, if I’m on my soapbox, but it just riles me up!!

12. 

mjcon 25 Jan 2009 at 8:46 pm 12

Who is he thinking of marrying this time, Grannye? He should really consider Madonna. That should tie lawyers in knots. Both the Sir and the Madonna would be looking for stray hands in their loot (I suspect they would have learnt from past experience): it is bound to be funny. All this smacks not so much of bad luck as sheer negligence.

13. 

grannyeon 25 Jan 2009 at 10:52 pm 13

wow, Arnish and x3 are free..I repeat, wow!! Things might be lookin up. mjc, thankyou for the compliment…and for meals we were thinking along the lines of pot noodles actually, so if we got him hooked up to a bike generator to boil a kettle Bob is as they say yur uncle!!If smiffy trundled over to the caravan on her rollerskates we could even call it meals on wheels. Amish lighthoose, good one x3, your patter is making you an attractive prospect, must get your name doon for the Dell Fank. FC2, rofl, leg end, excellent, and sorry its been a while, whits a s**g? Is it a bird? Or a mammal? Aww poor Barney. No idea who the next candidate is mjc, aint seen a paper all day as the rellies only left at 10pm, but I hear it was in the Mirror, maybe he is marrying himself!
Gale, soap boxes are okay here. However, I’m sure the Amish are not the only ones involved in this hideous practise, and I’m also sure the entire community isnt involved, and the intenet was only on friendly banter of a desperate wummin.
cheerie

14. 

Flying Cat 2on 26 Jan 2009 at 11:04 am 14

A bird of course grannye, as if you needed to ask!

15. 

mjcon 26 Jan 2009 at 8:44 pm 15

Arnish or X3 would do fine, either of them, for the folks in the area don’t partake of the singin ginger (yep, UPS delivered the Michael Munro book today).

16. 

Flying Cat 2on 27 Jan 2009 at 12:51 am 16

Crivvins! Ye’ll be plashin aboot in thon vernacular afore ye can cry Jock Robison!

17. 

Gale NC, USAon 27 Jan 2009 at 4:41 am 17

grannye – Sorry I got off the subject. You are indeed right, the Amish are not the only ones guilty of that hideous practice.

18. 

Flying Cat 2on 27 Jan 2009 at 9:44 am 18

What an odd and seemingly irreconcilable thing for such righteous believers to be involved in. They must be taking that bit in the bible literally where we are told man has dominion over all living creatures, which I suppose could be taken to mean ‘Dae whit ye like wi’ a’ the beasties’. If people didn’t buy the poor pups there would be no business. To me, the buyer shares equal responsibility with the producer.

19. 

Gale NC, USAon 28 Jan 2009 at 12:34 am 19

Flying Cat 2, you are so right about the buyers. Sadly enough, for the for the most part, they are very innocent and ignorant. The pets are usually in pets shops, they walk in and see a cute little dog, pay a nice hefty price and take him/her home. They do not think about where the animal came from. I commend the humane societies that make an effort to bring this travesty to light for the public to know about. Unless you are an animal advocate, there are not too many people that know or care about (aboot) it!

Getting off soapbox again!

Surfergirl hanging 10 on my longboard over and out!

UP HELLIA Aah

Just a wee quick reminder that today is the fire festival of the Shetland Isles, and for those of us not lucky enough to be there the Visit Shetland web-cams are once more up and running. Just put Visit Shetland in your search engine and then when you get tot he site the button is on the left of the page half way down. I’ve just watched the guizers gather in Commercial Street with the crowds. Looks like they have rather damp weather but it doesn’t seem to be spoiling the fun. Fantastic folks, more power to your elbow and your knees.

Share and Enjoy:

7 Comments »

 

7 Responses to “UP-HELLY-Aa”

x333xxxon 27 Jan 2009 at 10:32 am 1

Thanks for recommending the webcams Grannie, I didn’t know about them.

I’ve few travel ambitions left to achieve (I’m not especially ambitious) but to attend Up Helly Aa at least once in my life remains unachieved, but through the webcams tonight I can attend via technology.

Hopefully I’ll manage the proper observance in 2010!

grannyeon 27 Jan 2009 at 10:56 am 2

Aw lucky you x3, 2010 we shall expect an extensive report, three days later, I hear these things go on long into the next day and a few swallies are partaken. In the meantime fill yur boots wi the webcam, and being the queen of webcams if you want any more give me a hoy.
cheerie
Ps, wish I was there. I have another neighbour doonstairs, who moved from shetland to Auchenshuggle..she is obviously quite mad.

Flying Cat 2on 27 Jan 2009 at 11:54 am 3

I tried to get to the Market Cross but was told I needed a download, so thought I had downloaded for MacOsX but nothing happened…hurty-brain-time for confused kitties!
Willl just have to wait for this week’s Shitland Times photos…*sigh*
Grannye its time you ghost-wrote the book – Shetland Tae Auchenshuggle, An Epic Journey.

Hyper-Boreanon 28 Jan 2009 at 10:03 am 4

Bright sunny day today. Burning that boat has worked yet again. Three cheers for the Guizer Jarl.

Barneyon 31 Jan 2009 at 5:07 pm 5

Hi Effingranny, haven’t yet looked at the webcams, but do i understand from your comment about the neighbour who moved from Shetland to A, that she fits well into the community, with particular reference to your goodself?

mjcon 04 Feb 2009 at 5:35 pm 6

How come you have not posted? Taking a breather at Inspector Morse (or whatever) headquarters, helping with their inquiries?

mirlnlasson 05 Feb 2009 at 2:22 am 7

There are rumours doing the rounds that there might be a web cam at the precession/burning site.

AT LAST..ITS FINISHED

Well, the decorating is finished, and the bed was moved this am. My bedroom is now a quiet magnolia oasis of calm, phew and it only taken me…oh who knows how many weeks. Just the horror of sorting out the study now as it is to be called, lol, listen to me, a study, up a close, catch a grip wumman. Ah, dreams cost nothing. Meanwhile back at the ranch, had yet another Polis raid this morning, at 8.30. himself of course wisnnae in. He was however in at the weekend and has left seven, yes, seven, bin bags lying in the close. Now to me that’s a bit of a give away. Its been snowin in Auchenshuggle, twice this week, we however have not ground to a halt!!! I was however entertained to watch bampots trying to get up a steep hill, and failing dismally, which was no surprise, as they were doing about forty in second gear. We also appear to have David Beckham in the city,whoever he is,  caused quite a stirr at the airport.

Share and Enjoy:

9 Comments »

 

9 Responses to “AT LAST..ITS FINISHED”

mirlnlasson 05 Feb 2009 at 2:20 am 1

Sigh of relief time after getting the painting done. Hope the study isn’t too much hard work. These things often start out easy and become a nightmare halfway there.

Hmmm David Beckham name sounds familiar, can’t place him though….

Flying Cat 2on 05 Feb 2009 at 12:27 pm 2

Oh that’ll be UnderpantMan grannye, fancy you not knowing that
Very biblical to take up your bed and walk. Purrhaps you feel the completion of Magnolia Boudoir was an effingranny miracle!
I hope the mad mental bam has gone off for good

mjcon 05 Feb 2009 at 12:51 pm 3

Magnolia, eh? There was a blogger once on Orkney Mainland who painted his hideaway this color, and then he moved to Shetland – Fetlar, I would not be surprised to find out. # George Mackay Brown had a study up (or is “down” or “in” ?) a close, so no reason why you should not, effin grannie! # Police raids: don’t they work weekends?! # So you got snow: gritted your teeth, did you? For an American, “gritting” the roads sounds rather exotic, something done in foreign lands. We plough the roads, salt them, but we keep them clear (oh well, most of the time).

It’s Nic! It’s Nic! It’s Nic!on 05 Feb 2009 at 8:07 pm 4

‘We plough the roads and salt them’
What tune would that be?

Barneyon 05 Feb 2009 at 9:12 pm 5

Quaint dialectal word “bampots” – xplanashun please!

grannyeon 05 Feb 2009 at 9:39 pm 6

Barney, bampots:- meaning nutter, loon, silly people…see also diddies and eejits, however those are generally not voluntary, whereas the former is!!!

Flying Cat 2on 05 Feb 2009 at 11:11 pm 7

I think you really really need a copy of The Patter, Barney. Purrhaps mjc will lend you his! I should be getting backsheesh for this, Michael Munro…

Hyperboreanon 06 Feb 2009 at 10:41 am 8

Bampots, further sooth they would be barmpots and I suspect a philological connection to the word barmy (not Barney I hasten to add).

mjcon 06 Feb 2009 at 1:48 pm 9

Eh Nic, oh Nic – it’s “On and Off the Road Again” # When I wrote that we ploughed and salted the roads in the US, there was no implication that we eat them (the potholes of the English language!). Nor was I indirectly paying obeisance to the latest culinary masterpiece by J. Oliver on edgy English cuisine. # I am not letting anyone near my Munro book: i am not a bamstick!! If I were to get stuck on a deserted Scottish isle, I would love to have Grannye for companion: she would regale me with stories of the Barras (or so she would suggest) and I would decipher them using The Complete Patter.

OOHER MRS

Well, the decorating is finished, and the bed was moved this am. My bedroom is now a quiet magnolia oasis of calm, phew and it only taken me…oh who knows how many weeks. Just the horror of sorting out the study now as it is to be called, lol, listen to me, a study, up a close, catch a grip wumman. Ah, dreams cost nothing. Meanwhile back at the ranch, had yet another Polis raid this morning, at 8.30. himself of course wisnnae in. He was however in at the weekend and has left seven, yes, seven, bin bags lying in the close. Now to me that’s a bit of a give away. Its been snowin in Auchenshuggle, twice this week, we however have not ground to a halt!!! I was however entertained to watch bampots trying to get up a steep hill, and failing dismally, which was no surprise, as they were doing about forty in second gear. We also appear to have David Beckham in the city,whoever he is,  caused quite a stirr at the airport.

Share and Enjoy:

9 Comments »

 

9 Responses to “AT LAST..ITS FINISHED”

mirlnlasson 05 Feb 2009 at 2:20 am 1

Sigh of relief time after getting the painting done. Hope the study isn’t too much hard work. These things often start out easy and become a nightmare halfway there.

Hmmm David Beckham name sounds familiar, can’t place him though….

Flying Cat 2on 05 Feb 2009 at 12:27 pm 2

Oh that’ll be UnderpantMan grannye, fancy you not knowing that
Very biblical to take up your bed and walk. Purrhaps you feel the completion of Magnolia Boudoir was an effingranny miracle!
I hope the mad mental bam has gone off for good

mjcon 05 Feb 2009 at 12:51 pm 3

Magnolia, eh? There was a blogger once on Orkney Mainland who painted his hideaway this color, and then he moved to Shetland – Fetlar, I would not be surprised to find out. # George Mackay Brown had a study up (or is “down” or “in” ?) a close, so no reason why you should not, effin grannie! # Police raids: don’t they work weekends?! # So you got snow: gritted your teeth, did you? For an American, “gritting” the roads sounds rather exotic, something done in foreign lands. We plough the roads, salt them, but we keep them clear (oh well, most of the time).

It’s Nic! It’s Nic! It’s Nic!on 05 Feb 2009 at 8:07 pm 4

‘We plough the roads and salt them’
What tune would that be?

Barneyon 05 Feb 2009 at 9:12 pm 5

Quaint dialectal word “bampots” – xplanashun please!

grannyeon 05 Feb 2009 at 9:39 pm 6

Barney, bampots:- meaning nutter, loon, silly people…see also diddies and eejits, however those are generally not voluntary, whereas the former is!!!

Flying Cat 2on 05 Feb 2009 at 11:11 pm 7

I think you really really need a copy of The Patter, Barney. Purrhaps mjc will lend you his! I should be getting backsheesh for this, Michael Munro…

Hyperboreanon 06 Feb 2009 at 10:41 am 8

Bampots, further sooth they would be barmpots and I suspect a philological connection to the word barmy (not Barney I hasten to add).

mjcon 06 Feb 2009 at 1:48 pm 9

Eh Nic, oh Nic – it’s “On and Off the Road Again” # When I wrote that we ploughed and salted the roads in the US, there was no implication that we eat them (the potholes of the English language!). Nor was I indirectly paying obeisance to the latest culinary masterpiece by J. Oliver on edgy English cuisine. # I am not letting anyone near my Munro book: i am not a bamstick!! If I were to get stuck on a deserted Scottish isle, I would love to have Grannye for companion: she would regale me with stories of the Barras (or so she would suggest) and I would decipher them using The Complete Patter.

SOMETHING TO DO IN THE SNOW

Some friends doon sooth appear to be trapped behind lots of snow. So with that in mind, and jist incase they get the day off school,, ie a snowday, here are a few web links to keep them entertained. I am also trying to get Smiffy away from her Shetland addiction. Now there is nothing wrong with Shetland, personally I think its a place I could grow to love, however, we have now reached the stage of being booted by the web cam, due to sitting watching it all night!! Soo lets spread the love, and to that whit here is my all time favourite for ya Smiffy.

http://www.liveontheedge.co.uk/Surfcam.html

And if that isn’t enough entertainment here is another page, FULL of other web cams you may like to peruse at your leisure.

http://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/uslinks/webcam.html

Meanwhile back at the ranch, yip, we got snow, only a couple of inches and it was by no means as cold last night as anticipated. The good news is that the study clear up continues, and as part of that I have found the instructions for the digital camera, so that means some time in the next six months maybe, just maybe, Ill get it working and then photos should follow. Wow, how entertaining could that be. Auchenshuggle in the raw!!! Be ya cant wait, eh? Maybe even a wee photie of Hamish, you never know your luck. right I’m off now, but before I go can I remind our friends in Lerwick, and other snowbound places, if you wear socks over your shoes ya wont be slip slip slidin away

cheerie

Share and Enjoy:

6 Comments »

 

6 Responses to “SOMETHING TO DO IN THE SNOW”

walkeron 09 Feb 2009 at 7:02 pm 1

Socks over shoes thats where I been going wrong. god I got a sore but never mind got it now lol.
Someone put the lights out in Jura I see will have another look tomorow in the day light.
Dont take to long reading the instructions or better still just go out and use it that way you’ll get some great shots. Best of luck with it and cant wait to see the results.

mirlnlasson 09 Feb 2009 at 11:18 pm 2

Can’t wait to see your camera results. I’ve not fully looked at the instructions for my camera as I had a 10 min lesson from my Uncle (also the instructions are on a CD rom so not the easiest way)

I’ll have to remember the socks over shoes, I think I’ll need a really big pair of socks to fit over the back of my wheels though lol.

It’s hard addiction to break is Shetland and I have to say it’s not something I’ve ever thought of breaking.

grannyeon 10 Feb 2009 at 9:10 am 3

Lol, silly walker!! To be honest the Jura shots aren’t generally to clear, however, this morning the Paps are clearly seen covered in snow, aww, innit pirdy! Mirln, any chance you could send you uncle doon fur tae show me how this thingy works, alas the cd is long gone, but I continue the search for the requisit cable. As for sock, well just borrow (steal) some handy low flying socks. Orr, maybye we need a ‘big sock o’er yur wellies’ knitting pattern. I feel sure someone in here will be able to facilitate the request!! Here’s hopin.

Barneyon 12 Feb 2009 at 3:13 pm 4

First it was Flying Cats, now “low flying socks”… handy ones to boot! Have the laws of gravity ceased to reign in Bonny Scotland? In NOrway you can buy “mini crampons” or “broddar” to fix under your shoes in time of need, which is often given that a) Norway is hilly and b) the temperature in winter often oscillates around zero Celsius, so you get melting by day and freeing by night – a positively lethal combination (not “combinations”) fo auld grannies and young spritely things alike.

Flying Cat 2on 13 Feb 2009 at 6:16 pm 5

Remember those knitted choobs we used to make in our youf? With something that looked like a pirm with four nails hammered in…and the long multicoloured wooly thing came out the bottom end?
Ideal for wheels mrlinlass! (I’m not referring to your youth, because you’re still in it, but grannye’s youth which she is only just out of. I hope that’s clear;lol:)

Flying Cat 2on 13 Feb 2009 at 6:17 pm 6

 
Goldarnit grannye, I wish you’d enable smileys in yer widgets. My wee brain cannie cope!

AND HERE’S ANOTHER

this should be the temporary Campbeltown webcam, and another addicition of mine, but then anything in this area is an addiction of mine.

http://92.23.99.154/CgiStart?page=Single&Language=0

Share and Enjoy:

6 Comments »

 

6 Responses to “AND HERE’S ANOTHER”

x333xxxon 10 Feb 2009 at 4:55 pm 1

Campbeltown looks pretty permanent to me

Don’t suppose there’s a webcam near the Mull of K lighthouse is there?

grannyeon 10 Feb 2009 at 5:44 pm 2

sorry 4x, just the surf cam and the main toon. there used to be one round at Carradale looking over to Arran, but the guy moved on, and the site is still open, but alas, nae nifty shots. There was also one very briefly on Gigha, but alas it too has gone. Maybe somthing you might like to think of in your own locale.

Barneyon 10 Feb 2009 at 9:06 pm 3

Very calm, obviously Miss Chrissie M is not makin’ whoopee off her beaten track.

mirlnlasson 10 Feb 2009 at 9:59 pm 4

it does look lovely and calm there just now. Will have to bookmark it and see what it is like in a weeks time.

mjcon 11 Feb 2009 at 10:45 pm 5

At this time of the year, Chrissie Mary Morrison is doing Mauritius or the North African shores. She has more sense than to stick around in yonder frozen Scottish shores.

Flying Cat 2on 12 Feb 2009 at 2:38 pm 6

Shame about the Carradale webcam. It would be quite entertaining to have one permanently situated outside the Cruban bar…imagine all the people, living for today…

BLESSED PETIE SECOND LAST STAND

well, same old same old really, bit of devil worship, some big church services. Then there was the purchase of dynamite, cocoa leaves and 96% alcohol, to give to satin in a mine as a sacrifice, all bought at a village shop, as you do!!! A wee bit of animal sacrifice, some car blessing, with some very nice Gladioli. What more could you wish out of a Friday night I ask.

 The study is almost complete, just the wigwam to go up and then track down a mile of bookshelves and then this place will be almost shipshape. Looks like we didn’t win the lotto this week again, so chez shuggle for another week.Aint been out and about much this week, so nothing of interest to report. Except the snow has gone and the dug is not happy about that.

Share and Enjoy:

6 Comments »

 

6 Responses to “BLESSED PETIE SECOND LAST STAND”

Flying Cat 2on 14 Feb 2009 at 11:50 am 1

Imagine getting paid to do a telly programme where you are allowed, encouraged even, to ingest hallucinatory drugs in the name of ‘research’. Ah kin dae that, gizza job!
I wish our snow was completely gone. Death by a thousand drips. Bit like BBH!

stromnessdragonon 14 Feb 2009 at 2:38 pm 2

I loved the Glitter band rejects affair in the Valley of the Dawn. D’ye think when he comes to Europe he’ll do the Wee Frees? Or the Plymouth Brethren? Can’t wait!

Barneyon 14 Feb 2009 at 5:43 pm 3

Oh my gawd what exciting programs youses get! We have to make do with Come Dancing in Swedish guise, which I refuse to watch. People who are completely hopeless get voted along week after week – it must make the good dancers pissed off. Grump, grump, grump!

Flying Cat 2on 15 Feb 2009 at 9:05 pm 4

I hope Come Dancing is not in any way connected with Tufty…

Soapladyon 16 Feb 2009 at 10:48 am 5

whits Tufty got to do with anything – I must be having a senior moment … made all the more poignant cos I can’t make any sense of your title Granny … :- )

Flying Cat 2on 18 Feb 2009 at 12:36 pm 6

Oh you didn’t miss Mister Fourex’s controversial video-link on Arnish’s blog Soaplady? Blimey…you must have a liff

IS IT SAGE TO COME OUT NOW PARTII

Next!! Sunday, old firm match. I live about a mile from Parkhead, match days are always busy on the roads, but with two exceptions, (Rangers and Hearts, who in my opinion are actually worse) there is never much trouble, just friendly banter, loud singing and lots of people in green and white dancin in the middle of the road. Old Firm match day is different, a sinister cloud hangs heavily over the area. People walk their dogs early in the morning, no one goes to the shops unless they have to, and in general you don’t take your car out and you never, ever wear ‘colours’ unless you are going to the match or are completely mad. Now I have to claim an interest here, I am a Celtic supporter, used to have a season ticket, I am also what people would call a ‘prody’, I don’t, I’m a Christian and would rather protest against war and hunger than the holy catholic church thanks very much. However, in this city, put on a green and white hooped shirt, or a raoyal blue one for that matter, and that’s you forever marked. In this instance marked by the local pre-neds, who take delight in making life a misery when they have nothing much else to do. No, not the ‘friends’ next door, my diplomatic skills, ‘d’ya want a lenny ma season ticket’ was a useful way of befriending him. Who says bribery doesn’t work.

So Sunday started off with the pre-neds standing outside my close singing songs which..well..lets just say I’m sure what they intended to do with the pope and an irish terror movement could possibly be illegal, this was followed by three choruses of ‘the sash’. Wouldn’t normally have heard this, but then they wouldn’t have sung it unless they had seen the open window. And wouldn’t have bothered, but had the pixie polis to stay the night before. Then I had to go out, cousins were comin fae the east and mother needed shopping. I left after kick off, the streets were deserted. Dropped off pp and returned to the ‘burbs to await visitors via the co, again, just as the match finished, so it was being rushed by fans looking for sympathy supplies (apparently it was the worst ever match) but then I heard I’d got what I prayed for, a draw. I watched the blue lights fly up and down the road most of the afternoon and into the evening, just another old firm day. I’ve seen some sights in relation to this match, the worst was three years ago. Driving back from my allotment, hours after the match, I came across a road traffic accident and stopped to help. A young man lay in the gutter, he had a broken arm, leg and a head injury at the back of his ear, through which I could see the dura of his brain pulsate. He was about 16 and looked shockingly similar to my own son. His girl friend sat on the kerb, cradling his trainer and for want of a better word howling. The ambulance was on its way, we dealtwith the boy until they came. Once they arrived I stepped back, managed to coax the girls phone off her and phoned her mother and explained what had happened arranging for her to come and get her distraught daughter and contact the boys parents. Fortunately they were just round the corner and within minutes a car screeched to a halt and they all tumbled out of the car. The boys mother..the only way I can describe her reaction was that the sound of her scream was like a wounded animal wailing which echoed round the street. I spoke to those standing around. They had just been a young couple, walking along a main road. then a car had pulled to a halt across the road, the people who got out of the vehicle threw a brick which scored a direct hit o the boys left ear. He fell into the road, then they got into their car, drove over the central reservation and mowed him down with such force he flew into the air, his shoes were ripped off as was their number plate and he landed in the gutter where he now lay. Their crime? He was a Celtic supporter and had the cheek to be walking holding hands with his girlfriend, a Rangers supporter, they were both wearing their colours. The last I heard he was in a nursing home, no hope of recovery. My only question, if people cant stop this bigotry, why do they still let these teams play. Sorry that got a bit deep.

Share and Enjoy:

9 Comments »

 

9 Responses to “IS IT SAFE TO COMEOUT NOW PARTII”

Flying Cat 2on 16 Feb 2009 at 11:39 am 1

Everyone’s feart to do anything about it, so, apart from some anodyne ’seen to be doing’ stuff which has been going on for years with little real result, nothing gets done and so it goes on…
On the other paw, I really like ‘pre-neds’ it makes them sound sort of cuddly…

thelandladyon 16 Feb 2009 at 2:47 pm 2

My eldest, Lanky one, was the only Celtic supporter in a school class full of Rangers ones- which he took with exceptional good humour. Here in Falkirk it’s not so bad though, but my pa in law nearly swallowed his false teeth when Lanky one announced his allegiance to Celtic. you would have thought he was announcing he was joining the Mooneys. Lanky one was baffled when I explained the whole religion thing- he just couldn’t see the connection.Got his own back tho when he wouldn’y pay for a seat in the celtic side and instead bought a much cheaper Falkirk side one to watch his heros play celtic v falkirk. He managed to not burst into wild cheers for the whole game ,and wore his celtic underpants to keep his secret.
I forget who won tho..

Soapladyon 16 Feb 2009 at 9:12 pm 3

It’s like some futuristic world, isn’t it …

Part of my degree was sociology, and of course, we learned the significance of supporting a football team … of course its nothing to do with the game at all (well not much anyhow), but it’s more a feeling of ‘belonging’…

and we know from Lord of the Flies what happens to people who do not ‘belong’ …

Romeo and Juliet (West Side Story style) …
The unending slaughter to do with which ‘gang’ you’re in …
Even religion – how much killing is done in the name of belonging to a certain religion …?

Am I distorting things if I say it’s a Boy/Man thing …?
They’re so bloody black and white, men …
If you’re not with me, you’re against me …
Testosterone city …

Studies have shown that the most bigoted creature on gods earth is a four year old *boy* … They know precisely how things should be … Their world view is totally defined to them … And they exclude, mock or attack anything outside of it …

Training for growing-up, no doubt …

mirlnlasson 16 Feb 2009 at 11:32 pm 4

It just saddens me that this kind of thing keeps going on. The keep saying that they are trying to tackle but to be honest it seem they’re doing on the peripheral to keep the media happy and not tackling it at grass roots level.

Landlady – I used to live in Falkirk and I was always surprised the number of people that supported Rangers and Celtic always surprised me. It’s a shame because they have the Falkirk FC there and also East Stirlingshire (which I not see has moved to Stenhousemuir)

Flying Cat 2on 17 Feb 2009 at 11:22 am 5

There’s a Flying Cat in Falkirk? We don’t half get around…Beach Boys moment…

mjcon 17 Feb 2009 at 1:43 pm 6

Good grief, e. grannie, I have great difficulty reading what you wrote and noting that you were not engaging in creative writing. Here in the US, often times the partisanship is play acting. In Indiana, for example, the rivalry between Indiana University (liberal arts/science) and Purdue University (engineering/ag and forestry) – both State funded institutions – is quite good humored though, at ball games, quite vociferous (but not really violent). The IU/Purdue rivalry is played out in most US States as their state funded higher education is similarly split. # To beat up on each other in relation to sporting events for “national” or “religious” reasons is quite barbaric. You stay safe, e. grannie.

thelandladyon 17 Feb 2009 at 10:03 pm 7

Aye FC, I’ve heard that you get around a bit…:grin:

Hyperboreanon 17 Feb 2009 at 11:28 pm 8

A couple of comments from a slightly less violent sectarian perspective. I grew up about 7 miles from Liverpool which had a similar history to Glasgow’s. My home town had the (mis)fortune to be the point at which King Billy boarded his ship en-route to the Boyne. The result was that we had what can only be described as a pilgrimage every year on the weekend nearest to the 12th July. My own antecedents were orange/green. Father came from protestant stock who included Grand Masters of the lodge in their extended family, mother was irish catholic. I went to a catholic school. My first brushes with the problem came when I was asked one twelfth, by a girl of about 10,”Eh lad, are you a Pape?” I was not certain what she meant as I was about the same age. However I later encountered the same predjudice in my own family when a cousin of my Grandmother told me that my Father’s sin of marrying a catholic girl had been overlooked but that when he did it again having lost his first wife then that was beyond the pale. The sad thing is that I only really understood what bigotry meant when a teacher at my secondary school railed against the “Bigots” of protestant stock in Northern Ireland. I can only say that my own agnosticism was born of this predjudice.

smiffyon 07 Mar 2009 at 11:55 pm 9

long post, didn’t read it till now. harrowing.

PHEW IS IT SAFE TO COME OUT NOW?

Wasn’t that a nice weekend!! First the joys of Friday the thirteenth. Personally this one  just kind of passes me by, but its difficult to escape the harbingers of doom on the telly on the day. But then as you guys know, Friday, thirteenth or otherwise, brings the delicious joy of the blessed Petie, mmmm!

Then, well, what can you say…the souper duoper extravaganza that is Valentines day, or as one of my friends refers to it, Hallmark and St Thorntons Day. I ‘ate it!!! Well, that’s not really true, I hate the hideous money pot that is these ridiculous festivals, which over the years have grown commercial legs. Then there is the unspeakable truth, people view singletons as a bit odd at times, not part of what society expects. Your either a bit odd, sad even, or a complete threat, and that’s my intellectual friends. Other associates, IE the neighbourhood see you as being a sad git, or a very strange eccentric at best. I mean imagine..a wummin..living on her own..well, that’s just no’ right!!!!Then I popped into the local co-op on Saturday, well, the usual mingin’ muzak had been cranked up to compliment the ‘lorrv fest’, (to be honest I wouldn’t have noticed, most of the time its just very loud foreground noise), but when I got to the till..oh dear, poor lassie, she virtually had steam comin oota her eaars. ‘I cannae take much mere oh this’ she exclaimed in total desperation. ‘Its been like this aw day’. Now this is a thought, lets be honest, who the hell is going to wander round the ‘co’ on a valentines date, so is it really necessary? I don’t bleedin think so, are all the hard nosed advertising executives happy relationshiped up? Don’t they ever look at the demographics and see that maybe not everyone relishes the luvvy dovey tosh. A blog I read elsewhere, a USA blog, showed a table full of bags, with flowers, chocs, daft wee teddies attached to sateen hearts claiming undying love and enormous balloons. These were gifts, for kids, in a school, a bleedin primary school!!!!! Whit?? has the world gone completely bonkers? Don’t get me wrong, when mines were young me and friends used to get together and send each others kids anonymous simple cards, none of our kids were going to be the kid that didn’t get a card, but this is just tooo much. And no, I don’t buy the pixie polis cards and hideous Teddy’s for the big day. Frankly, if it takes a hideous card and all the other trappings on that ‘very special day’ to express you affection for your significant other your in the soup and I recommend Relate ASAP. Rant over, you may breath again before the next one. (I’ve decided to post the next one seperatly, its a bit depressin)

Share and Enjoy:

5 Comments »

 

5 Responses to “PHEW!! IS IT SAFE TO COME OUT NOW?”

Flying Cat 2on 16 Feb 2009 at 11:43 am 1

Wait a minnit, did Part ll just come before – as the actress probably didn’t say – I’m sure I was there just now but now I’m not sure about anything any more. I blame you grannye…
Fpu would love to have ‘commercial legs’, but I fear its too late for her…

thelandladyon 16 Feb 2009 at 2:59 pm 2

I agree grannye the whole thing has gone mad. MAD I TELL YOU!! I work in a creche and most of the kids like a bit of paint and glue, so while my activities this week might have had more pink and glitter out on the table than is usual ,I also has snowflakes,(very topical) and stampers with little dogs, cats and hamsters so kids could make a card for their pets.
I have two friends whose husbands send their daughters a Valentines card every year- am I alone in feeling this is just a wee bit weird??
Mind you I did make one for my cats at work- well it was a slow day, you know- so that’s probably even weirder…

Flying Cat 2on 17 Feb 2009 at 10:20 am 3

I would like to reassure thelandlady that there is absolutely nothing at all weird about making valentines cards for your dear kittycats. In fact, it would have been nice if someone had done one for me…:sad

Flying Cat 2on 17 Feb 2009 at 10:21 am 4

Damn. Purrlease activate your smileys grannye, I’m losing the ability to do them by paw…

mjcon 26 Feb 2009 at 1:03 pm 5

“I have two friends whose husbands send their daughters a Valentines card every year- am I alone in feeling this is just a wee bit weird??” Probably, but not any weirder than spouses sending their Other cards on Mother’s and Father’s days (but then, wife and I don’t call each other: Mom and Dad, as some folks call their spouses). Different folks, different strokes.

CATS AND DOGS

Thought some of you folks might like this!The following was found posted _very low_ on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and
contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake
a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that
aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a
ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to
each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know
that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the
other end to maximise space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, */there is no secret exit from the bathroom! /*If,
by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it
is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get
your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit
through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom
for years – canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the
other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message
on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don’t. (2) If you don’t want their hair on
your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it
‘fur’-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most
people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted
sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak
clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they (1) eat
less, (2) don’t ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6)
don’t hang out with drug-using people; (7) don’t smoke or drink, (8)
don’t want to wear your clothes, (9) don’t have to buy the latest
fashions, (10) don’t need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if
they get pregnant, you can sell their children ..

14 Responses to “CATS AND DOGS”

plaidon 18 Feb 2009 at 7:32 am 1

I love it! ‘Specially the bit about kids, though I must add that once they leave home they improve.

thelandladyon 18 Feb 2009 at 8:52 am 2

Laughed till I cried- my cat licky spends hours scratching at the bathroom door while I shower, comes in, wants out again.

Flying Cat 2on 18 Feb 2009 at 12:33 pm 3

“Also, I have been using the bathroom
for years – canine/feline attendance is not required.”
I don’t understand this bit. There’s a little stool in the Shower-room of Shame that is forever mine…and yet they insist on slamming the door in my face. It’s potty. Purrhaps, some enchantyed evening, this po-faced exclusion will be lifted…and the quality of percy will be not strained

islepoeton 18 Feb 2009 at 3:48 pm 4

I love your post – and can relate in so many ways

grannyeon 18 Feb 2009 at 4:18 pm 5

Furtunaly I llive alone, therefore dont even bother closing doors anymore. Mind you, i gets a bit much when the meenister visits, and you have a dog and two cats howlling at a closed door. I just take them in with me, visitors appear to find this habit strange, until they use the loo and discover the error of their ways. Aint pets just grand lol.

Barneyon 18 Feb 2009 at 7:20 pm 6

Yes, they are, Grannye, and so is your posting! I’ll show it to Stumpy, underlining the bit about how not to sleep in a human bed.

Flying Cat 2on 18 Feb 2009 at 7:38 pm 7

The very idea of sarcastic pets! I meantersay…
I’m trying hard to believe Stumpy can read English…

Gale, NC, USAon 18 Feb 2009 at 8:33 pm 8

I love it. It reminds me of how much I have missed my pets since they went to the Rainbow Bridge. It will soon be a year since I lost my last one and my heart is still breaking. Mine were my children! Hopefully, a little four legged soul will find me soon and things will get back to normal. I suppose I will have to get used to sleeping on the very edge of the bed again.

Barneyon 20 Feb 2009 at 8:22 pm 9

Oh EffCee, how obtuse can you get? Of course Stumpy can’t read English – but I can (suprise, suprise). SO I show the dog the text and then translate it, pointing at the words at the same time. It has worked befoe, when we were installing the Home Pictue Salon, when we were overhauling the heat exchanger and when Stumpy wanted to couple up to the INternet. So why should it not work this time?

10. 

Flying Cat 2on 22 Feb 2009 at 5:39 pm 10

I so should have though of that Barney.  However it concerns me that Stumpy, who seems quite a ladylike sort of a hound, should want to couple up to the internet. Surely a suitable male Labrador could be found to provide the necessary electricity!

11. 

Barneyon 22 Feb 2009 at 8:58 pm 11

I am repeatedly suprised that your thoughts are so one-track, EffCee, when the wherewithall is, by all accounts, lacking. Please accept my sympa.

12. 

Flying Cat 2on 26 Feb 2009 at 12:38 am 12

I’m like a diabetic in a sweetie shop…

13. 

taddoeon 12 May 2009 at 12:20 pm 13

HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED THIS MASTERPIECE GRANNYE IS WRITING ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY

14. 

taddoeon 12 May 2009 at 12:21 pm 14

OF COURSE—ITS THE DAY I FLEW TO OZ

THE CUP FINAL

Well, here we are, Petie is on the last lap of his round the world in 80 faiths journey. I’ll have to leave 15 min in due to dyein’ ma heid. But, this week we start our European journey with the faith according to Santa, with Petie dressed up as a gnome. The gospel according to Petie is that Santa has sold out to commercialism…tell us sommat we didn’t know doll!! Then we go to see Swami, (’scuse ra spellin there) dressed in traditional costume for a Christening. Further north in the noon darkness he visits a tent to learn shamanism of the north. If you saw this please tell me, is this scene reminded you of any Scottish nights oot, or maybe even a fitba match ‘ohhhhhhh, ohhhhhhhh, ohhhh ohhhh ohh ohh’. Obviously Petie is stoned again cause he cannae even get his ‘bits oan. The laugh is when he and the shaman go off to listen to a river, and he speaks to this man, who has perfect English, like HE IS DEEFF.  Right, I’m off tae rinse ma heid, back in a mo!!!

Oh no, Petie on a bus singin ‘Back in the USSR’, lawd ‘elp us. In Moscow he visits the St Saviours replacement. Jings, tis plush. Cheese, the Russian priests like to throw their holy watter aboot. Oh oh, nakedness alert, had to happen really, its been a few weeks. He is of course objecting to a wee dunk in frozen river, Sniffy, looks like Puties cousin is there. Aye Petie, nice ‘put on’ cough, awww darn it, he dinae daeit… mega dissapointment!!!!

But, he is now lettin it rippppwith the hare Krishnas’ and I have to say, he looks quite at home, no surprise there for the auld hippy. Sorry I missed a bit again, had to get the conditioner off. Then off to see a Buddhisttemple. Not me, Petie, obviously.

At last he is back in some semblance of heat, Italy, and off to visit a monastery, late as usual he cant actually speak to anyone till the next  morning after the great silence. Then being the Anglican that he is he speaks of the issue of celibacy in the roman catholic church, hmm trust an Anglican, of all the things he could have pointed out about Catholicism he picks one of the biggest differences between it his own faith. Another wee complaint about the catholics, re the communion, I’m beginning to wonder if he supports a particular Scottish fitba team, then he would be the full set, and he isn’t even at a catholic church. Looks like this might be a faith HRH Charlie might like, they are playing muzak to plants and claiming they are writing it, the plants. I don know how to spell this faith, but they live in a commune and have a mega looking temple underground, it is truly beautiful. A much much bigger version of the shell chapel.

Finally back to the UK, and Petie strides out across the Sussex Downs…corrr, whit a swagger. And finally he reflects on the positivity of human beings, and aint that just what faith is all about. Well said Petie, the middle aged wimmin oh the world shall sigh whimsically as you run (late again) to take your own church service and look forward to your next journey. sigh!!!!

A quick early warning for next week. ITV 8.30, they will be doing a special investigation on dating festivals and matchmakers in Ireland, be interesting to see what Calum thinks oh this.

Share and Enjoy:

9 Comments »

 

9 Responses to “THE CUP FINAL”

Soapladyon 21 Feb 2009 at 12:17 am 1

Hope your hair came out the right colour … :- )

I actually *loved* the silent periods whilst I was on silent retreats …

Whole days without any words at all … just gestures, if it was really important …

It really does clear your mind … I moved down about three gears in three days … Thing started to c-a-l-m d-o-w-n a lot … My mind stopped gibbering …

I’ll go on forever, if I’m let … :- )

islespictureson 21 Feb 2009 at 11:09 am 2

i agree with soaplady, silence is golden, as they say, much better than blah blah blah. I love all these modern religious -round-the-world programmes, much better than soaps, although the soaps are real and the religious programmes are made-up ( is that the right way round??)

Flying Cat 2on 21 Feb 2009 at 12:37 pm 3

What I really really like about you grannye is, I don’t actually have to watch the programme, because its all here, pared down to a few pithy paragraphs.
I hope yer heid didnae come oot orange.
It would be interesting to hear what Calum thinks of anything these days, but he isn’t commenting in here. Maybe he’s on a silent retreat…

Barneyon 21 Feb 2009 at 3:59 pm 4

Some Cup Final, if that is what it was about!

mirlnlasson 22 Feb 2009 at 12:06 am 5

I forgot to watch this last night as me brother was here but I don’t think I need to now you’ve done it probably better than the actual programme!

mjcon 26 Feb 2009 at 12:57 pm 6

You ARE funny, effin grannie!! Probably funnier than the program itself. Is the program on DVD, yet? What’s the title again?

Flying Cat 2on 27 Feb 2009 at 5:35 pm 7

Around The World in 80 Faiths?

mjcon 02 Mar 2009 at 9:34 pm 8

Hasn’t Pete finished his tour de force yet? Did he finally get converted to Hare Krishna, or did he, more prosaically, end up a member of the Masons or the Opus Dei?

mjcon 03 Mar 2009 at 11:26 pm 9

effin? EFFIN?! (wonder the polis has been around?!).

HONEY I’M HOME

This is just a quick post to let you guys know that reports of my demise were grossly over exaggerated! I have however been ‘in the hospital’, (I now have a mental image of Billy Connolly running through my head!!) The auld ticker took a bit of a bashing over the weekend. I have now however, named to dig a tunnel oot, p[raise be, but whatever you do, don’t let on your a Christian. I have missed you all and thanks for the mjc’s messages. I shall read your blogs over the next few days and blog more of my latest adventure soon. I missed you all and its sooo good to be back.

Share and Enjoy:

11 Comments »

 

11 Responses to “HONEY! I’M HOME!!!!!”

taddoeon 05 Mar 2009 at 11:19 am 1

AH what can one say–i’m so choked up with ? surprise? i never thought it would be me? was i nominated?words fail me-

Leson 05 Mar 2009 at 12:23 pm 2

Thought it had been a bit quiet around here! Glad you are okay.

mjcon 05 Mar 2009 at 1:33 pm 3

Eh, Effin Grannie, take it easy. [If my address were closer to yours, I would be over with some fresh chicken soup, and a little bouquet of spring flowers]. Perhaps you should lay off Around the World in 80 Faiths for a while – though it was winding down already, was it not (don’t tell you insisted on watching it while in the hospital?!)? – too much excitement, clearly. Pete has a lot to answer for. # Gordie Broon was around here. Not much of a speaker, is he?! Rudy (Giuliani, of NYC fame) got a honorary knighthood, and so it was only a matter of time before Teddy (another Kennedy) got his. Unfortunately knighthoods don’t bring any discount with it at Starbucks or when you order vindaloo at Heathrow, or I would be angling for one.

Flying Cat 2on 05 Mar 2009 at 2:23 pm 4

I thought you’d gone to see AnnieB in hospital. And to hold Calum’s hand in his hour of need…I’d no idea you were incatcerated too!
Les is right, it was awful quiet in here…thank goodness it was just a passing snafu!

mjcon 05 Mar 2009 at 3:03 pm 5

effin grannie, did your unclogging take place already? Or is it in your future? Aren’t you glad you live in old Glasgow rather than Ouagadougou or other such exotic places?

Barneyon 05 Mar 2009 at 3:50 pm 6

Ougudago, Cape St. VIncent and all stops left of Middle Wallop, let us lift up our hand unto the Lord and give praise for Grnneye’s deliverance from whatever it was deliverence was called for. A disturbing amount of ill-health on IB at this time. Tws, we have not forgotten you, not Annie B.

thelandladyon 05 Mar 2009 at 5:31 pm 7

Oh I was going to leave a comment on your last blog- I wondered where you’d got to- missed ya!
I agree with Barney(now there’s a first)we seem a rather sickly bunch just now- hope it’s just a passing phase and all recover soon.

stromnessdragonon 05 Mar 2009 at 6:28 pm 8

Get well soon, Granny! Sending healing dragon vibes your way!

mirlnlasson 06 Mar 2009 at 6:10 pm 9

Hope that you have a speedy recovery and sending (((hugs))) and stuff your way.

10. 

smiffyon 06 Mar 2009 at 8:33 pm 10

grannye! its taken me this long to find you again, and now see you’ve been in and come out, and goodness knows what else.
take very good care of yourself, young gran; i’ve been thinking about you. (this would be a candle if we were meeting ‘in another place’)

11. 

mjcon 09 Mar 2009 at 1:01 pm 11

Eh Effin Grannie, hope you are holding up. Give us a toot, or should it be “hoot”, to reassure us.

HONEY IM HOME

This is just a quick post to let you guys know that reports of my demise were grossly over exaggerated! I have however been ‘in the hospital’, (I now have a mental image of Billy Connolly running through my head!!) The auld ticker took a bit of a bashing over the weekend. I have now however, named to dig a tunnel oot, p[raise be, but whatever you do, don’t let on your a Christian. I have missed you all and thanks for the mjc’s messages. I shall read your blogs over the next few days and blog more of my latest adventure soon. I missed you all and its sooo good to be back.

Share and Enjoy:

11 Comments »

 

11 Responses to “HONEY! I’M HOME!!!!!”

taddoeon 05 Mar 2009 at 11:19 am 1

AH what can one say–i’m so choked up with ? surprise? i never thought it would be me? was i nominated?words fail me-

Leson 05 Mar 2009 at 12:23 pm 2

Thought it had been a bit quiet around here! Glad you are okay.

mjcon 05 Mar 2009 at 1:33 pm 3

Eh, Effin Grannie, take it easy. [If my address were closer to yours, I would be over with some fresh chicken soup, and a little bouquet of spring flowers]. Perhaps you should lay off Around the World in 80 Faiths for a while – though it was winding down already, was it not (don’t tell you insisted on watching it while in the hospital?!)? – too much excitement, clearly. Pete has a lot to answer for. # Gordie Broon was around here. Not much of a speaker, is he?! Rudy (Giuliani, of NYC fame) got a honorary knighthood, and so it was only a matter of time before Teddy (another Kennedy) got his. Unfortunately knighthoods don’t bring any discount with it at Starbucks or when you order vindaloo at Heathrow, or I would be angling for one.

Flying Cat 2on 05 Mar 2009 at 2:23 pm 4

I thought you’d gone to see AnnieB in hospital. And to hold Calum’s hand in his hour of need…I’d no idea you were incatcerated too!
Les is right, it was awful quiet in here…thank goodness it was just a passing snafu!

mjcon 05 Mar 2009 at 3:03 pm 5

effin grannie, did your unclogging take place already? Or is it in your future? Aren’t you glad you live in old Glasgow rather than Ouagadougou or other such exotic places?

Barneyon 05 Mar 2009 at 3:50 pm 6

Ougudago, Cape St. VIncent and all stops left of Middle Wallop, let us lift up our hand unto the Lord and give praise for Grnneye’s deliverance from whatever it was deliverence was called for. A disturbing amount of ill-health on IB at this time. Tws, we have not forgotten you, not Annie B.

thelandladyon 05 Mar 2009 at 5:31 pm 7

Oh I was going to leave a comment on your last blog- I wondered where you’d got to- missed ya!
I agree with Barney(now there’s a first)we seem a rather sickly bunch just now- hope it’s just a passing phase and all recover soon.

stromnessdragonon 05 Mar 2009 at 6:28 pm 8

Get well soon, Granny! Sending healing dragon vibes your way!

mirlnlasson 06 Mar 2009 at 6:10 pm 9

Hope that you have a speedy recovery and sending (((hugs))) and stuff your way.

10. 

smiffyon 06 Mar 2009 at 8:33 pm 10

grannye! its taken me this long to find you again, and now see you’ve been in and come out, and goodness knows what else.
take very good care of yourself, young gran; i’ve been thinking about you. (this would be a candle if we were meeting ‘in another place’)

11. 

mjcon 09 Mar 2009 at 1:01 pm 11

Eh Effin Grannie, hope you are holding up. Give us a toot, or should it be “hoot”, to reassure us.

SO!!

Firstly thanks for all the warm wishes on the previous blog, sheese, its grand to be home among right thinking friends.

Right, I’ve calmed down a wee bit now..just a wee bit mind.  So, to business. Six days incarcerated at the NHS’s pleasure, well, that’s quite a statement, but its how I feel. I will hold my hand up in the first instance and admit I don’t like other people having control over me. I live alone, by choice, and do what I want when I want, in general. Therefore I do not take kindly to being put in a ward where all the doors are locked!! Yip, a general medical admission ward and the doors are locked. How did I find this out…I tried to get a TV card. Basically, if you step outside the ward, to go to the shop, for a fag, for TV or phone cards, which are outside the ward doors, you have discharged yourself!!! Eh? sorry, have I regressed? Am I once more 12 years old? And before we start, yes smoking is bad for you and patients wandering willy nilly round the premises might not be a great idea..but  to lock us in!!!! Try and remember here I’m a grown up, well at 45 as grown up as I’ll ever get, not mentally unstable and not chained to a bed having committed a crime.

So, on the Saturday they move me to another ward…supposedly ‘a more liberal regime’, yip, that was the exact phrase that was used. So, you just sign a wee chitty and are allowed to come and go as you have signed that you leave the ward temporarily on your own recognisance. By the Monday I was okay to utilise this system, but had to pretend I was going for a fag!!! It seems ‘I just want some fresh air and out of this place’ is an odd statement to make!!! And whatever you do don’t, ever, tell them you are just popping along to the Chapel, that is whats called a straight jacket statement.

Also had a most disturbing conversation with a couple of fellow Angina sufferers. Angina is a bit of a blighter, one of those conditions that doesn’t often play ball. Patients sits there with all the symptoms, writhing in pain, slap an ECG lead on and nadda, zilch, hehaw. Now I’m no 70’s Kung fu TV star, so I cant control my heart, all I can do is tell them the symptoms. So why, oh why are we constantly treated as malingerers? In my case it certainly ain’t for the morphine, I cant abide the stuff, it makes my skin crawl and my nose itch like mad. Some of them told me that on occasion they had not dialed 999 or gone to their GP’s, because they wanted to see if they could get rid of this attack on their own rather than hand themselves over to the treatment meated out at the hands of the NHS. How very very sad, but I can see where they are coming from.

Then there were doctors rounds, well that was a comedy turn and a half. Firstly the junior doc sits on the bed, takes my hand, the screens drawn, cripes!! ‘Are you sure its not just your depression?’ Whit, I stupidly admitted on a form at an outpatients clinic in 2007 that I had suffered from depression in the past. Now try and remember that I was married to a sociopath domestic abuser for thirteen years and then got a nice dose of breast cancer aged 37, which they proceeded to make a complete harse of leaving me in constant pain and and on heavy duty oral steroids for a year, so in my book I’d earned that depression. I did not however comprehend that it would be used as a stick to beat me with for ever and a day. I am a board memeber of a local mental health organisation, and if this is the way our clients are dealt with in the NHS no wonder they are ill.

Eventually on the Tuesday morning the main man the consultant dained to to show his face on the ward. Much sitting straight in bed and anticipation followed. I did nip to the loo while he was at the top of the ward. On my return the junior came and sat on the bed again, ‘Dr Suchnsuch wont be able to see you today you haven’t had your test done yet’. WHITT!!!!!! Is it my fault I haven’t had the tests? Ive only been here since Friday. But that’s nothing comparedto the bare faced rudeness of sending his junior to do his apology’s for him. Then again, at least I got an apology, the other 5 women waiting for the head man didn’t even get that!! Oh, and guess what, he wont be back till Friday. That I’m afraid was the light the blue touch paper moment. I now have my friends phone number, so that if I need an exercise ECG in future I can give her a bell, that’s what I had to do the last time I was in in 2007!!!!

Then did I mention, at every shift change, during the angina days, like a good patient, I’d ell them I had chest pain, (they had taken my GTN away) and every bleeding time they would come round the screens and enquire ‘do you NORMALLY get chest pain?’ errr whit. Hardly a comfort that the people looking after you don’t know whats wrong with you. Then we had the girl in the bed next to me, (a nurse) who had Strep B and required an HVS (soaplady will know what this is) and they came round with a swab and told her to do it herself!!!! The nurse looking after us, aged around 6years,  obviously didn’t have a clue what this HVS was, and as it transpired later, neither did anyone else on the ward, including the medical staff!!!! I am now scarred with the mental image of this woman trying to do this swab.

Next, well lets talk sustenance. Why, cause the stuff on the plate didn’t even resemble Dekwans dog food. How the hell do they ever expect patients to build and repair on the muck they serve up. Lets just say in the time I was in I saw the sum total of three, yes three, green beans. Now I say saw, because at the time I was having a massive Angina attack and some ejit stuck me with morphine before I could get my hands on said green beans, which were of course six feet away at the end of my bed. By the morning I left I was hallucinating about brown bread toast and banana for breakfast, never mind salmon and potatoes with corn, mmmm.

So, there you are, that’s the state of our NHS in 2009. My personal suggestions are that the entire system needs a major overhaul. Be it the food, the constant use of bank nursing staff on wards or just the general total inability of staff at all levels to communicate appropriately and with any compassion with those they look after.  Id be interested to hear others experiences and suggestions.

11 Responses to “So!!”

gravirlifeon 09 Mar 2009 at 9:26 pm 1

Wow…bet it feels better having vented that lot…….sounds scary and grim.Without sounding patronising (I hope) really hope you can settle back down into your chosen life-style and just enjoy each day at a time……live for the moment/enjoy all that you have.
I prefer not to comment on NHS or Mental Issues at this point.
Take care…Welcome Home/Back……RJG

Flying Cat 2on 09 Mar 2009 at 10:22 pm 2

Yep. That’s the way it is. Try being Supportive Wife – suddenly you are even more invisible than you already thought. And then there’s the ‘cleaning’ régime. And the hand-washing régime…joke George. And food that is like slops, flavourless and dull and you won’t see anything vaguely ‘healthy’ – Five-a-Day???? HA!!! Don’t get me started.
One of the best bits is the leaflet encouraging patients to exhort all medical staff to wash their hands before approaching the bedside. That’ll be the patient who is on a morphine drip and not quite on the same planet. However one must be polite and not say, “Remind your effing selves to wash your own effing hands. (Sorry for abusing your effing, grannye).
Right. Ah’m affma soapbox.

thelandladyon 09 Mar 2009 at 10:24 pm 3

Jeeze, grannye, it wasn’t the Southern General was it?? Sounds grim any way. Couldn’t agree more about depression- any suggestion that you’ve been depressed or had treatment for it and you’re a leper for ever.

Soapladyon 09 Mar 2009 at 11:44 pm 4

They asked her to do an HVS herself …??!!
(Victor Meldrew voice) “I don’t bel-eeve it …!!”

Just so everyone knows, without being vulgar, H = High, V indicates a female area, S=Swab …

Usually a clean speculum is used in order to guarantee a valid High swab, the patient is put in lithotomy position (legs akimbo), and swab is taken with benefit of high degree of lighting …

What ON EARTH is the point of asking the patient to DO IT THEMSELVES …

The puerile conversations and exchanges you were privy to would never have happened in Sister Mead’s day …
What is the world (and the Health Service) coming to …

I always hope that I’ve had ‘my share’ now, because I dread ever having to spend time in todays hospitals …

Isn’t it strange, subconsciously, I almost felt like apologising to you … once a nurse, always a nurse, or that’s how it used to be anyhow …

mjcon 10 Mar 2009 at 3:16 am 5

Sorry you had to undergo that ordeal, effin grannie. You sound awfully resilient, and you’ll get through this bad patch. Where did you get your sense of humor (acerbic is fine too), and your ability to convey it so well? Self-taught? Surely not a summer writers’ workshop on some univ. campus somewhere?!! Ach, effin grannie, you should have looked for me before you got married to that s.o.b. !!

grannyeon 10 Mar 2009 at 9:26 am 6

FC2, just you effaway, use as many profanities as you can muster if it can get you through the night!!! Landlady, no twasnt the suffern, twas the Royal..and I’d like to know why I have been feart thus far to name and shame, what exactly can they do to me that would be worse!! Bless you soaplady, I too feel the shame for our former profession, poor Sister Mead would surley have had an attack of the vapours. Mjc, what can I say, you are my constant encourager. The sense of humour came from my father, he described it as ‘our dry sarcastic witt, which constantly got us into trouble’, however, mother, 83 on Saturday, fanks very much, is also very amusing at times. The writing definatly comes from her, and I did briefly join a uni writers class, but they were a bit too serious for the likes of me.

mirlnlasson 10 Mar 2009 at 6:27 pm 7

That is terrible and people wonder why I keep discharging myself when they want me to stay in. Glad you’re out now and hopefully feeling more human and less like a pin cushion.

That poor woman had to do an HVS herself!!?? What the hell are they (poorly, admittidly) paid for? Wandering about doing nothing?

I wish I could say I was surprised about the depression comment but after having dealings with Drs, I’m not at all. It feels like even if your leg had been chopped off they would still ask you are you sure it’s not depression. I would like to point out at this point they would get said chopped off leg being hit over their head (not that I’m advocating abuse of NHS workers).

I’ve been reading a book about Herbal Healing and it has a whole chapter devoted to Nursing, how to be a nurse. The one thing that was dotted throughout the chapter was WASH YOUR HANDS everywhere in it, bear in mind this was written in the ’70’s. It really surprises me how many don’t.

taddoeon 10 Mar 2009 at 7:09 pm 8

did the nurses wear make up? nail varnish?long hair not tied up? arriving for duty already in uniform,leaving for home still wearing their uniform?if yes to any of the above welcome to he world of “modern nurses” when hubby was in hospital the nurses were all of he above –no surprise he picked up “a superbug” and died: When i trained as a (early 1970’s) you would have been kicked out: here in the home where i am working they are very strict no make up,long hair untied etc and its a home for the elderly,so why not go back to the basics of nursing—not wizardly just comen sense

Flying Cat 2on 10 Mar 2009 at 9:58 pm 9

Would anyone like to do a rant on hand-gels and the way they are used/abused as a quick substitute for handwashing? Gel does not work against c-diff. Washing does. QED.

10. 

taddoeon 10 Mar 2009 at 10:20 pm 10

normally (well here anyway )we use the gel AFTER WASHING THE HANDS

11. 

Flying Cat 2on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:24 pm 11

Now there’s a novel idea…

APPLECROSS

Right, to follow on briefly from the previous post just to let you know I am now pursuing a programme of constructive criticism!! via a charitable organisation. The rational being grumping and moaning is all very well, but very few people actually have the strength or ability to formally complain about their treatment, and unfortunately if we don’t complain things will never change, improve. So, a bit less bumping of gums and a little more action as I appear to have been born with the gift of the gab and am therefore ideally suited to such a task. I shall of course keep you all posted.

Now, to Applecross. IE Monty Halls Great Escape on BBC2 Sundays. Corrrr!!! I’m not quite sure what he aims to prove by rebuilding a bothy on the shoreline and raising a few wee scraps of food in the form of chooks, pigs and sheep for six months. But lets be honest, corrrr, whit a stoater. And, and, if that doesn’t tickle your fancy the programme has paid for itself multiple times if only in the form of spectacular scenery. I mean, whit a view of Rassay and Skye. It seems it has also started off the tourist season early in applecross with the pub being booked out in the last week, well done Monty I say. It seems the ques are forming to take up residence in the bothy, although as yet the Trust as not decided what the future of the bothy is. Here is hoping they don’t drag their heels and use the programme to the communities benefit.

And then, there is that dug, Rubin. Wit a cracker, did you see him jumpin aboot like a wee puppy, despite his large size, ah it makes your heart feel grand. Hamish kitten seems to be quite taken with Rubin, but then he has also become a dedicated follower of fitba, in fact he knocked the set top box over in his rush to watch the Homecoming semi final. Who knows what he will make of the final on Saturday. I of course aint supposed to be watching, maybe I’ll knit him a wee green and white scarf and train him to come in an meow the score, hmm that’s quite a tall order. So, in conclusion, 9pm Sunday BBC2 – Monty, not quite of the calibre of the blessed Petie, but still very nice in a rugged fashion. Only problem being, its on at the same time as No1 Ladies Detectives, so looks like it’ll be Monty on iplayer.

Share and Enjoy:

13 Comments »

 

13 Responses to “Applecross”

x333xxxon 11 Mar 2009 at 11:34 am 1

It was fantastic wasn’t it? I know Sand (and Applecross) extremely well .. its my second home (even if I don’t own one there!).

A friend from England rang me on Saturday evening and said ‘Quick, watch BBC2 *now*, Applecross!” and slammed the phone down.

Eggheads?? I couldn’t understand what Eggheads had to do with Applecross, and then the penny dropped. BBC 2 in Scotland is different to the rest of the UK.

I was delighted the following day to discover that Monty would be on that evening, and was duly glued to the screen.

Monty’s eye candy rating: 7/10 [wouldn’t say no]

(can’t comment on your Petie sight unseen, sorry)

mjcon 11 Mar 2009 at 1:25 pm 2

Well, clearly you folks are getting your license fees’ worth of eye candy and belly laughs. I wonder what might be a hit follow up. Around the world with birders (twitchers) might appeal to a few? Around the world with 80 hitmen (women) might be challenging, more popular, but morally dubious. Any suggestion? The BBC is listening.

x333xxxon 11 Mar 2009 at 5:00 pm 3

Indeed! And after all, as Terry Wogan often says, ‘It’s our BBC’

taddoeon 11 Mar 2009 at 6:55 pm 4

applecross?? beautiful spot haven’t seen anywhere here that resembles it ,but some places here resembles other parts of the north west seaboard in scotland:

Caton 11 Mar 2009 at 8:03 pm 5

Glad to see someone relatively local has at last commented on this programme. I’ve been a frequent visitor to the north-west highland and islands for some 40 years I was really looking forward to seeing this programme – but what a disappointment.

As simple ‘coffee break telly’ I’d award the following marks out of 10:
Scenery 10/10
Joy of living effect for Reuben the dog 10/10
Beauty of the scenery 10/10
Eye candy value of presenter 7/10
Feasibility of project 2/10
Accuracy of information 1/10 (but only just)
Lilian Beckwith effect on the true locals 0/10

Half-way through the first programme I resorted to watching it with the sound off as I really couldn’t stand listening to Monty Halls ‘make-up-facts-as-I-go-along’ commentary any longer.

I hope the programme does a lot for tourism in the area. However, I hope anyone who visits on the basis of this programme is discerning enough to realise just how much drivel this man has presented. If they don’t I fear the locals will find themselves suffering from the ‘Lilian Beckwith effect’.

x333xxxon 11 Mar 2009 at 10:54 pm 6

In case you didn’t see the prog that Grannie has referred to, check out this lovely picture of ‘Sand Bay’ at Panoramio. The tiny bothy our hero lived in is just visible on the righthand shoreline of the bay as it turns the seaward corner.

http://www.panoramio.com/photo/3379347

islespictureson 12 Mar 2009 at 9:32 pm 7

Thanks effin grannie – i haven’t seen this,but i’ll be watching this sunday, sounds good.

Flying Cat 2on 14 Mar 2009 at 12:23 pm 8

Oh he is so not eye candy you lot! Where’s the hair? The beard? The incipient beer belly? That’s not a real man, any more than its a real crofter. Its a mirage. A chimera. A folly. But the scenery is gorgeous and the prog. is great free tourismic advertising!

Aylampon 14 Mar 2009 at 7:17 pm 9

The guy’s a total chantywrastler. The scenary would be better wi’oot a prick lik him runnin aboot. Don’t know about mackerell but he’s a sassenach haddie.

x333xxxon 15 Mar 2009 at 10:36 pm 10

Fine by me. I’ll have him all to myself then. Or I would, except his bloomin’ girlfriend turned up tonight

Flying Cat 2on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:28 am 11

You’ll be familiar with his family tree then Alymp? We’re all mongrels in these islands, of one sort or another, and the more the merrier. But leaving out the sassenach bit which is unneccessary, definitely a chantywrastler!

Quicksilveron 20 Mar 2009 at 10:38 pm 12

I live just along the road from Monty’s place. Before he did it up it was a picturesque ruin – rusty corrugated iron roof that matched the winter bracken. Yesterday a vistor to the area went to look at it and whist he was there 20 other people trooped across the bay to have their photos taken in front of it and the car park was packed when I drove past on Monday. So the programme’s attracting visitors already, but the lovely weather must be helping. All the favourable comments about the scenery make me realise that living here has compensations after all.

Luminouson 20 Mar 2009 at 10:56 pm 13

Quite right

THE LOW DOWN

I will probably be shot down in flames for even bringing this topic up, but lets be honest, I’m already living on the edge, so in for a penny in for a pound. Firstly the name Lilian Beckwith came up in my last post. Err, what exactly is the problem with this author, and what is the ‘Beckwith’ effect. There you go, that should set the cat amongst the pigeons for starters. Next, I took the decision to publish a comment which referred to people from doon sooth in, lets say a less than shining light. After All, we can only have free and open debate on subjects if everyone feels able to have their say. So, in accordance with this, (hmm, this is starting to sound like a board meeting now), whit is the problem with incomers exactly. I have to be honest, its the thought of rejection that would put me off moving to islands, or for that matter the peninsula I dream of living in. Am I being ridiculous, is it maybe just weegies they don’t want, lets have a nice clean debate here folks. Look forward to your thoughts.

Share and Enjoy:

22 Comments »

 

22 Responses to “THE LOW DOWN”

Flying Cat 2on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:34 am 1

Usually if you come in, fit in and get on with folk, all is well. What people detest is the purrson who waltzes in and immediately wants to instruct and improve the natives. No-one’s got it in for weegies up here grannye.
Lillian Beckwith’s books are cringe-making in the extreme. Oh those quaint islanders…what jolly japes…*grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*

mjcon 16 Mar 2009 at 11:40 am 2

Oh effin grannye, I think our southern Indiana village might be able to take you, and Malkie, in for the duration. Two weegies would be a good leavening thing (though Malkie may well have originally been from the islands). About incomers and residents whose ancestors have been there “forever”: each situation is different, a compound of cultural, linguistic, economic, religious, educational factors. Before moving, I would figure out what the situation is, which niche I would fit in, and whether I would be safe and comfortable in that niche. # L. Beckwith – would you be planning to write about the foibles of your putative island neighbors? I expect you would be very perceptive and quite good at it, but that would not make you very popular with the locals. Posthumous publication might be best, for then you would be beyond reach …

x333xxxon 16 Mar 2009 at 11:42 am 3

I read ‘A Rope In Case’ around about 1975 whilst I was on holiday with my parents in Nairn. I then read all LB’s books, but in the correct order after ‘Rope’, starting with ‘The Hills Is Lonely’.

The book transported me to a world I just knew was where I wanted to be myself. I recognised tell-tale signs that Bruach wasn’t the real deal and that the tales were clearly of yesteryear not the present.

Therefore I perceived that aspiration and reality would be different. And indeed so it has eventually proved.

I’ve not encountered too much resistance to me as an incomer, except from an unexpected quarter and for a specific reason.

On the whole I’ve felt welcomed, not least for novelty value (’gosh, aren’t you tall? are you on holiday? you’re living here? goodness!’).

Soapladyon 16 Mar 2009 at 12:18 pm 4

I’ve experienced nothing but kindness here …
On only one occasion was I made to feel part of a group which was not welcome, and that was at a Craft Fair where the speaker was a crusty old Minister who was warning of the dangers of incomers changing the way of life …

I think in general, as long as you don’t get into peoples faces, cause a nuisance, or badmouth people, you’ll be OK …
I don’t really ask anything from anybody you see … I’m self-sufficient in my own little (soapy) bubble …
All of this means that there’s very little to object to …!

The only thing I have to say about weejies, is that sometimes, well, they’re a bit *loud* aren’t they … In the most literal sense … and don’t they have very difficult accents …?!

‘Inter-malky’, and all that …! One of my favourite Rab C Nesbitt references …!

  1. Leson 16 Mar 2009 at 1:22 pm 5

Don’t worry about the derogatory comments about (us) southerners cos we all probably thought it was a term of endearment! (Not that I’m ‘doon sooth’ because I am up north to them but obviously doon sooth to you!).

From my experience you would have no problems moving to the Western Isles, the people there were the friendliest, kindest, folk we’ve ever met anywhere and is one of the reasons for us choosing to move there. These were, mostly, ordinary folks from the country and were almost certainly not the type to hang around shady places like the internet. I doubt that they would even hang around the shady places in Stornoway! Trouble with the internet is that it is not representative of everyday folk. The majority of people you will meet on the islands have better things to do than to keep checking websites. That’s the domain of you and me – the dreamers, the folk with nothing else to do (although I recognise that it is much more than that).

Remember also that there are few restraints on the internet so the people with the big gobs will occasionally get their say. Does it come as a shock to you to realise that there are bigger gobs out there than you’d even find in Glasgow?

thelandladyon 16 Mar 2009 at 6:16 pm 6

I never read any Lillian Beckwith, so can’t comment- but come to Millport grannye dear, the Glasgae accent is alive and well, especially around Country and Western weekend when 4000 cheery Glaswegians descend on the island and make merry. you will l fit right in!!I thought the commenter was a bit up her own bottie, if you want my opinion. She seemed to be criticising the programme as light on facts- but I watched it last night, and surely it’s not supposed to be a serious attempt to re- create a crofter’s life?? It’s like saying River cottage is a serious cookery programme for folk that live in Drumchapel!! It’s light entertainment, no? Very much as I imagine Beckwith’s books to be..

taddoeon 16 Mar 2009 at 8:13 pm 7

well at time of writing “i’m a newcomer” and after 3months i feel i have always lived here-if you want to move ,,move,just don’t try to change the locals ideas on your first day

grannyeon 16 Mar 2009 at 9:55 pm 8

Hmm…I fear I’m preachin to the converted here. It quite obvious that none of you have a chip on your shoulder. A few things are beginning to concern me. Such as 4x, you read them in Nairn in 1975, I read it around the same time in Kintyre, but visitied Tain a few months later, and you describe exactly how it made me feel too. Are you sure we aint related 4x? Soaplady, I take your point, weegies are…yip cant deny it, a bit LOUD at times.I describe myself as gregarious if that helps. Id like to remind everyone that I managed to divorce myself form the Rab C family in 2001 lol. Les, I like it when you say ‘us’ and describe us as dreamers. But as I have said to you elsewhere on the net I leave you with the responsability of fullfillment of those dreams!!! Landlady..well said re the River cottage analogy…respect hen. Taddoe, yet again I return to the envy situation, and you are of course quite right, no one should try to change anyone!!
mjc..you are beginning to really worry me…..are you operating my mothers secret web cam in my living room. She phones me every night, just as I lift my first fork full of food…I know I know, she is just phoning to check I havent died in the interviening hours since she last saw me…but her timing, sheese!!And now theres you mjc, a wee South Indiana village sounds very nice…but have you got a camera there too. I used to write, but gave it up months ago as I felt looking for a job was more important, dont get me wrong, its still important..the job hunting…but maybe under the circumstances it might be an idea to keep my hand in re the writing too. Alas and alak that or the lotto may be my only route outta this place. So the next question has to be, whats the cardio facitilites like on the islands????
PS, apologys to FC, it was just the romance of teenage years..honest!!!

mjcon 16 Mar 2009 at 11:19 pm 9

whats the cardio facilities like on the islands???? – e. grannye # Arnish would know about the NHS strengths and weaknesses in his neck of the woods, and perhaps beyond. FC’s PUs have been in Stromness for ever (some incomers stay a rather long time, eh?), and they should be able to tell you about Orkney. Hope you get good feedback.

Flying Cat 2on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:22 pm 10

Fpu read them avidly around the same time…but, in the cold light of Now, they raise the hackles, nae hauf. WLTM some of the ‘characters’ on whom the books were based and hear what they think.
Whaddya mean River Cottage ain’t like Drumchapel? Another illusion shattered and trampled in the mud *wee sob*. You’ll be telling me next that wasn’t Rocket my old friend Auntie H was growing in Kinfauns Drive all those years ago…

x333xxxon 17 Mar 2009 at 9:24 am 11

As an aside to the main thrust of this conversation, the population of the Western Isles is in sad decline. Therefore the advent of incomers has to be a positive thing in the long term interests of the islands’ economy, whether they are drawn by the spectral vision that is Lillian Beckwith’s Erchy, Morag (&etc) or not. But incomers should strive to integrate rather than convert the natives (a word I use warily) to their own model of community and behaviour.

Whilst the injection of new blood and values is important to keep the islands on a sustainable trajectory, many traditional values and customs should be maintained in order to take forward the very essence of what makes this community stand apart from the mainland. To whit you might reference the Sabbath observance agenda and so forth.

Equally, however, the natives can’t live forever in an offshore bubble. They need to embrace (and champion) some degree of change in order to maintain economic development and long term viability, perhaps by embracing and realising the real benefit that developments like energy renewables can bring to the islands, as oil has done for Shetland, masterminded spectacularly by the local authority.

Shetland has a rosy future, so too can these Western Isles.

grannyeon 16 Mar 2009 at 9:55 pm 8

Hmm…I fear I’m preachin to the converted here. It quite obvious that none of you have a chip on your shoulder. A few things are beginning to concern me. Such as 4x, you read them in Nairn in 1975, I read it around the same time in Kintyre, but visitied Tain a few months later, and you describe exactly how it made me feel too. Are you sure we aint related 4x? Soaplady, I take your point, weegies are…yip cant deny it, a bit LOUD at times.I describe myself as gregarious if that helps. Id like to remind everyone that I managed to divorce myself form the Rab C family in 2001 lol. Les, I like it when you say ‘us’ and describe us as dreamers. But as I have said to you elsewhere on the net I leave you with the responsability of fullfillment of those dreams!!! Landlady..well said re the River cottage analogy…respect hen. Taddoe, yet again I return to the envy situation, and you are of course quite right, no one should try to change anyone!!
mjc..you are beginning to really worry me…..are you operating my mothers secret web cam in my living room. She phones me every night, just as I lift my first fork full of food…I know I know, she is just phoning to check I havent died in the interviening hours since she last saw me…but her timing, sheese!!And now theres you mjc, a wee South Indiana village sounds very nice…but have you got a camera there too. I used to write, but gave it up months ago as I felt looking for a job was more important, dont get me wrong, its still important..the job hunting…but maybe under the circumstances it might be an idea to keep my hand in re the writing too. Alas and alak that or the lotto may be my only route outta this place. So the next question has to be, whats the cardio facitilites like on the islands????
PS, apologys to FC, it was just the romance of teenage years..honest!!!

mjcon 16 Mar 2009 at 11:19 pm 9

whats the cardio facilities like on the islands???? – e. grannye # Arnish would know about the NHS strengths and weaknesses in his neck of the woods, and perhaps beyond. FC’s PUs have been in Stromness for ever (some incomers stay a rather long time, eh?), and they should be able to tell you about Orkney. Hope you get good feedback.

Flying Cat 2on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:22 pm 10

Fpu read them avidly around the same time…but, in the cold light of Now, they raise the hackles, nae hauf. WLTM some of the ‘characters’ on whom the books were based and hear what they think.
Whaddya mean River Cottage ain’t like Drumchapel? Another illusion shattered and trampled in the mud *wee sob*. You’ll be telling me next that wasn’t Rocket my old friend Auntie H was growing in Kinfauns Drive all those years ago…

x333xxxon 17 Mar 2009 at 9:24 am 11

As an aside to the main thrust of this conversation, the population of the Western Isles is in sad decline. Therefore the advent of incomers has to be a positive thing in the long term interests of the islands’ economy, whether they are drawn by the spectral vision that is Lillian Beckwith’s Erchy, Morag (&etc) or not. But incomers should strive to integrate rather than convert the natives (a word I use warily) to their own model of community and behaviour.

Whilst the injection of new blood and values is important to keep the islands on a sustainable trajectory, many traditional values and customs should be maintained in order to take forward the very essence of what makes this community stand apart from the mainland. To whit you might reference the Sabbath observance agenda and so forth.

Equally, however, the natives can’t live forever in an offshore bubble. They need to embrace (and champion) some degree of change in order to maintain economic development and long term viability, perhaps by embracing and realising the real benefit that developments like energy renewables can bring to the islands, as oil has done for Shetland, masterminded spectacularly by the local authority.

Shetland has a rosy future, so too can these Western Isles.

YOU DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST

I leave you with this link http://whythatsdelightful.wordpress.com/2009/03/18/the-express-wins-the-race-to-the-bottom/

God Almighty, help us if this is the level of tolerance our society is willing to accept in the published press, our society is indeed doomed.  All I’ll tell you is that I have a cousin who lives in Dunblane..these kids deserve so much better. On the day I was working in Glasgow, my kids were at primary in Central Scotland, all the information we had was it was a school in Central Scotland off the M9(. I cried for days..possibly weeks for ALL Hamilton’s victims. If you feel moved, then do something about this muck raking, low slithering piece of s***t. My youngest is the same age as these kids, they ARE just being kids…leave them alone you animals!!!!!!

Share and Enjoy:

One Response to “YOU DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST”

thelandladyon 20 Mar 2009 at 3:47 pm 1

I agree entirely. As if those survivors haven’t suffered enough trauma- what business is it of hers if they go and live their lives? Frankly it’s no business of hers if they all went and joined the Mooneys.
My daughter is also the same age- I remember hearing the news and then realising who it was- Lanky One went to one of his “gymnastic groups” till the school warned us that he had had allegations made.
I went into the toilet and threw up ,went up to the school and got my kids.Almost every mum there was in tears. I still shudder when I think of that day.

THAT WAS THE WEEK…..

by grannye in May 3rd, 2009   

Uncategorized     

Well, sorry its been so long since I posted. No excuse, just procastonation, maybe. So, the employment situation hasn’t improved..I’m still the only sickie in the village looking for work, course I’ve decided to do this just as the country hits recession and jobs are thin on the ground. I am not however depondent..and certainly not taking it personally. Instead I busy myself with all sorts of entertainments. Amongst this included a random stop by the polis in the car a few weeks ago, when I discovered I hadn’t changed the details on my driving license, they were very nice about it. So, this involved me having to formally change my name, by means of Statutory Declaration. So, off I went to Martha Street, Registry office in the city centre. A very nice young man filled out the form for me…quite a simple operation, and then over to Glasgow City Chambers to sign said form in front of a Justice of the Peace. What a fabulous building

So, that’s me official, I joked with the JP that I felt the need for someone to break champagne over my head, alas not even Irn Bru was available, thus a hand shake had to do.

Later in the week I attended the first Laughter workshop the organisation I am a board member of ran. It was a complete success, some letting themselves go more than others admitedly, but everyone agreed it had been quite a work out for faces, abdomens and spirits.
http://expertaweb.com/joyworks.html
I strongly advise you have a look at the video on stv’s fivethirty show too, unfortunately I cant get a link up here.I’m hoping to be able to get this turned into a regular thing in the East of the city too. As an aside, while I was there, had a chat with the girl running the workshop who has encouraged me to look into local drama groups, with a view to developing my talents in that area  So, a career on the stage may beckon, you never know, and as I was told your never too old to try. Anyway, that’s about it so far, hope your all enjoying the fabulous weather, it being May it sleeted here today..gorra love the weather.

cheery

Read this and weep…with laughter

by grannye in March 26th, 2009   

Uncategorized     

You simply have to read this, its the most spectacularly hilarious eBay advert ever, scroll down the page and laugh your socks off..I did!!  http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280324899952#description

Share and Enjoy:

Digg it Add to del.icio.us Stumble it

7 Comments

Les Said,

March 26th, 2009 @4:03 am  

Well I don’t normally feel like laughing after getting in from work but that’s the best laugh I’ve ever had at four o’clock in the morning. Brilliant!

thelandlady Said,

March 26th, 2009 @8:04 am  

Also split my sides, We used to have a rather natty Cortina which was a completely different shade of yellow down one side.. ah, happy days. hope he actually gets it sold!

Flying Cat 2 Said,

March 26th, 2009 @10:39 am  

But it will leave such a very big hole in his life if it does sell. How can he ever achieve such fame again? (Unless he’s a used car dealer…).

Soaplady Said,

March 26th, 2009 @11:53 am  

well I suppose if you have the amusing writing skill it really pays to exercise it on the eBay listing, cos it will increase your exposure …!

I laughed like a sun-dozed hyena … especially at the vision of an asthmatic camel carrying a bin-bag full of spanners …!!

smiffy Said,

March 26th, 2009 @10:45 pm  

ha! love it!

mjc Said,

March 27th, 2009 @12:18 pm  

Hope Fletcher from Stronsay has a peek at the link: he has been looking for a car which can get a MOT pass so he can take it (and wife) for a spin on Orkney mainland. Fletcher has barely recovered from having missed SD’s garage sale because his present jalopy lacks a MOT pass (but maybe it should all be in “past” tense, Fletcher?). My general rule of thumb for evaluating the goodness of a car is a good kick in the right rear tire. If the car does not start after such a jolt, it is too far gone.

Flying Cat 2 Said,

March 31st, 2009 @9:44 am  

Wow! Grannye you’ve gone all summery and spaced oot!

FAMILY JEWELS

by grannye in March 31st, 2009   

Uncategorized     

Well, whit an interesting day the Grannie and Nannie had the day…headed West, specifically tae Whiteinch. the purpose of this mission, to rid ma wee mammy oh some inheritance. Lets just say a number of years ago my mother was swindled oota a considerable inheritance..the final insult being the handing over of this dear auld aunties engagement ring(circa1920-30). A coupla wee pointers here, wee auntie wisnae much for jewelry…it wis the depression..HE left her fir a Dundee clippi after 5 years…..and my maw never saw any ring. Secondly..said ring just didn’t ‘look’ right, and, the main point here, it contained an OPAL!!! Yip, the stone cursed by native Australians. Suffice tae say..my maw is convinced we as a family have been cursed, I’ll refer you back to a heart attack aged 43..apparently it wisnae ma genes, it wis the ring.

Anyhoo..off we went tae the auction room..met with Anita oh bargain hunts lala, who takes a long look at said treasure..then she shows me this book..full oh nice we emblems and pictures and the like. Then she points me to the appropriate line and moves her finger slowly along the page to the date..whit..1992…the low life snake had only passed ma poor mammy aff wi a piece of catalogue junk younger than her youngest grand wean. Now, you would expect despondency at this time…not the Effin family, oh naw, oh how we chortled!! Poor maw had been desperate tae get rid oh this trinket on account oh the curse, but felt reluctant to do so in loyalty to auntie…and it turned oot it wisnae even her ring. Suffice tae say..should you be wandering in the woods oh TollX park anytime soon and come across a wee trinket wi an opal and a couple oh rubies…just walk on by!!!

More good news..have received news via pigeon post that Auchenshuggle steamie may be reopening in the near future…and I didn’t even need tae run naked doon Sauchiehall st!

Share and Enjoy:

Digg it Add to del.icio.us Stumble it

13 Comments

Flying Cat 2 Said,

March 31st, 2009 @8:56 pm  

Oh what a pity grannye…

taddoe Said,

March 31st, 2009 @9:10 pm  

sorry to hear that grannye—-maybe i should get rid of my opal ring i bought in queenstown in case it brings me bad luck(please note “”i bought” had another ring that was given but has now been returned,and like the dumb twit i am never thought about selling it. ah well,they say you live and learn

thelandlady Said,

March 31st, 2009 @9:34 pm  

Oh the cheeeeky shite!!!No luck grannye…

Flying Cat 2 Said,

March 31st, 2009 @11:30 pm  

…in these purrlous times it would really have brightened up a dreich day on Sauchiehall Street…

grannye Said,

March 31st, 2009 @11:44 pm  

Never fear folks, it is rumoured that my dear auntie will have already been haunting her…so, if you hear of a wummin in Dundee befalling a freak knitting accident…well, youll know who it was And as for brightening up a dreich day FC, well apart from the fact that me and mother havent laughed so much in ages I for one am glad we no longer have horse drawn carraiges….I fear me doing cartwheels down Sauchihall st would surley have scared the horses

Plaid Said,

April 1st, 2009 @3:44 am  

Doing cartwheels only scares the horses if the cartwheeler is wearing bloomers, circa 1900’s. Something to do with them being similar to weather balloons I think.

mjc Said,

April 1st, 2009 @12:24 pm  

The problem with having any jewelry is that it can be stolen from you. You are better off without. When my parents were burglarized in Bruxelles not so long ago, and her jewelry stolen, the members of the family reassured her that all was for the best and that she can now enjoy our affection, without any afterthought concerning the genuiness of these feelings. We laughed, she laughed (though at times her laughter was mingled with tears), proof galore that jewelry as such is pretty useless, and that it would be better to invest in a good meal.

Advertisements
  1. smiffy thinks of coach tonight, enjoyed a few laughs back then.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: